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It's officially Oscar season, people! Quit crying about politics and spend your weekends catching up on prestigious movies engineered to make you cry about everything else. The Critics' Choice Awards kicks off the long walk on the red carpet, and these grossly-dressed celebrities should probably fire their stylists before the end of the aisle.

1. Michelle Monaghan

She looks like she went and stole a costume from a community theater production of Chicago and threw a sheer skirt on it so the director wouldn't notice.
She looks like she went and stole a costume from a community theater production of Chicago and threw a sheer skirt on it so the director wouldn't notice.
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2. Lily Collins

Girl. The vampire fad ended years ago.
Girl. The vampire fad ended years ago.
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3. Bella Thorne

She's half-naked, half-wearing a figure skating outfit that was caught in a shredder.
She's half-naked, half-wearing a figure skating outfit that was caught in a shredder.
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4. Kaley Cuoco

While women wearing the pants is refreshing, Cuoco inexplicably matched a jellyfish costume with ill-fitting slacks from J.Crew.
While women wearing the pants is refreshing, Cuoco inexplicably matched a jellyfish costume with ill-fitting slacks from J.Crew.
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5. Kate Beckinsale

Designed by a New Jersey prom queen who just read Pride and Prejudice for the first time.
Designed by a New Jersey prom queen who just read Pride and Prejudice for the first time.
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6. Kerry Washington

Oh no. I take no pleasure in disrespecting the Pope, but I believe I saw this one at Forever 21.
Oh no. I take no pleasure in disrespecting the Pope, but I believe I saw this one at Forever 21.
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7. Lisa Bonet

Oh no. This is just zebra wrapping paper, isn't it?
Oh no. This is just zebra wrapping paper, isn't it?
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8. Casey Affleck

Bro. Only Joaquin Phoenix can get away with this look.
Bro. Only Joaquin Phoenix can get away with this look.
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9. Carly Chakin

A fine bathrobe, though.
A fine bathrobe, though.

10. T.J. Miller

Yeah.
Yeah.
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