Yer a rumor, Harry.
Left: UN Women Goodwill Ambassador. Right: The literal embodiment of privilege.
(via Getty Images)
The British royal family may no longer rule over a quarter of the world's landmass and people, but their dominion is undiminished in the world of tabloids. The remaining royal bachelor, Prince Harry, is nothing if not dutiful in his commitment to giving low-quality news outlets all over the world exciting gossip to chew on. His latest exploit, however, will be nothing short of a full-employment program for paparazzi worldwide if it turns out to be true: he might be dating Emma Watson.
Do you think Prince Harry calls Emma a "mudblood" as like a cute pet name? I like to think so.
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) February 20, 2015
Apparently, the often-drunk (and occasionally naked or swastika-adorned) Prince "heard" that Watson had broken up with her boyfriend Matthew Janney, a British rugby player, late last year. Not wanting to be a creep, he apparently invited her on a night out with 12 of his friends, all of whom probably kept talking about what a down-to-earth dude Harry Wales (that's his "civilian name" he used in school and in the Army—middle name "prince of") is every time his highness went to the loo. As one "insider" told Australia's Women's Day magazine,
“Harry didn't want her to feel like she was put on the spot. A party also shows he's fun and not stuffy. He's smitten – and it's more than Emma's looks."
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Harry, Prince of Wales, learned his dating techniques from Entourage, at least according to the Turtle who gave the quote to Women's Day.
BUT WHAT ABOUT EMMA?
Dammit, Watson, did you really come to the States, get an Ivy League degree and become the UN Women's Goodwill Ambassador just to go back home and hop on the arm of someone whose blessings at birth not only include being high up on the line of succession for a thousand-year-old monarchy, but by coincidence sharing a name with the movie franchise you're now trying to outgrow? I'm smdw right now—shaking my damn wand. If this is true, I'm severely disappointed.
prince harry and emma watson is the muggle version of viktor krum and hermione.
— Soraya Roberts (@SorayaRoberts) February 20, 2015
Hermione would never put up with this shit. I know Ron's a redhead, too, but let's face it—a.) we all know Hermione regretted not going with the top dog, and b.) Ron was basically your personal assistant and he was cool with that. Harry is not the Harry of princes, Emma. Harry is the Ron. The Harry of Princes is named William and he's taken. You want to marry a prince? Start your own country and become queen. Then go get some prince to follow you around. That's some second-level leaning in right there.
Let's pray Hemma happens, I ship them so hard!! #MTVStars One Direction pic.twitter.com/9PmGWFelLG
— •••• • ••• (@beauteous_hes) December 2, 2014
On the other hand, Emma was once photographed within talking distance of Harry Styles, and the Internet freaked out even though it ended up being nothing. Maybe she should just avoid all Harrys forever.