Hey, look, we all get rejected. Particularly those of us who consider ourselves artists. It's all part of the hustle—publishers, record labels, and agents pass up rising or obvious talent for any number of reasons, if only to provide us—years later—with inspirational online content like this.
1. No Thanks, Mr. Hewson (or "Bono," or whatever).
Thank you for submitting your tape of 'U2' to RSO, we have listened with careful consideration, but feel it is not suitable for us at present.
We wish you luck with your future career.
2. Disney Books rejecting a storybook by a young Tim Burton.
It may, however, be too derivative of the Seuss works to be marketable -- I just don't know. But I definitely enjoyed reading it.
3. An in-house publishing company memo about Animal Farm.
Stupid and pointless fable in which the animals take over a farm and run it, and their society takes about the course of the Soviet Union as seen by Westbrook Fegler. it all goes to show that a parallel carried out to the last detail is boring and obvious.
4. The Museum of Modern Art to the inventor of Modern Art.
Our Committee…had a chance to study your drawing entitled Shoe which you so generously offered as a gift to the Museum. I regret that I must report to you that the Committee decided, after careful consideration, that they ought not to accept it for our Collection.
5. A record company in regards to Madonna.
6. A publisher to Edgar Rice Burroughs.
We have given the work careful consideration and while interesting we find it does not fit in with our plans for the present year.
7. Marvel Comics to Todd McFarlane.
8. An editor to Vladimir Nabokov's agent, rejecting Lolita.
9. An editor to science-fiction icon Ursula K. Le Guin's agent.
10. The New Yorker to Sylvia Plath.
11. The BBC to John Cleese.
I'm afraid I thought this one as dire as its title…A collection of clichés and stock characters which I can't see being anything but a disaster.