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Rich people: they would masturbate more, but all of the sex toys are just so common. Because really, what sort of message are you sending if you'll spend $600 on a T-shirt or $200,000 on a handbag, but you still put a $30 hunk of plastic from the corner porn store in your lady pocket? It's simply not refined.

Thankfully, Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP is here to save the wealthy once again with a round-up of "not so basic sex toys," one of which is a $15,000 gold-plated dildo from INEZ

A good name for this would be "The Golden Gopher" because it lives in holes.
A good name for this would be "The Golden Gopher" because it lives in holes.