Jaden and Willow Smith gave one of the nuttiest celebrity interviews ever, which is saying something.

Jaden and Willow Smith gave one of the nuttiest celebrity interviews ever, which is saying something.
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Jaden and Willow Smith gave one of the nuttiest celebrity interviews ever, which is saying something.

Malibu, California, born and raised. (via Getty)

Sit back, get into a comfortable position, and release any tension you may be feeling. Take a deep breath, and let out as much negative energy as you can, because reading about this crazy interview Jaden and Willow Smith gave to New York Time's T Magazine may make you scream. Not necessarily in anger, because it's pretty funny. But you may be tempted to yell "are you F'n kidding me?" loud enough to startle everyone around you.

Jaden Smith is 16 and Willow is 14, ages at which kids are expected to say dumb stuff. Having strong, ill-informed opinions is part of the job. As it was put so eloquently in the first line of the T Magazine story, "One of the gifts of being young is that particular blend of self-confidence and self-consciousness." Factor in wealth, childhood fame, and streaming new age documentaries on Netflix, and you've got a recipe for a pretty entertaining interview.

Here's the exchange that followed a question about their "experience of time" and how it relates to their music:

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.

JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.

WILLOW: Because living.

JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There’s a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it’s living.

WILLOW: It’s the action of it.

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Speaking of time, have plenty of it to spare if you ever get into a conversation with them about breathing. Because, you know, living.

WILLOW: Breathing is meditation; life is a meditation. You have to breathe in order to live, so breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart.

JADEN: When babies are born, their soft spots bump: It has, like, a heartbeat in it. That’s because energy is coming through their body, up and down.

WILLOW: Prana energy.

JADEN: It’s prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember. Babies remember.

WILLOW: When they’re in the stomach, they’re so aware, putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together. But they’re shocked by this harsh world.

JADEN: By the chemicals and things, and then slowly…

WILLOW: As they grow up, they start losing.

JADEN: You know, they become just like us.

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If you're wondering about the source of this overflowing stream of BS, part of it comes from their reading material. Willow has been busy studying "Quantum physics. Osho," but Jaden prefers headier, timeless stuff like “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life and ancient texts; things that can’t be pre-dated."

With so much knowledge crammed into their tiny heads, it's only natural to be asked about freeing up space for even more important stuff. Specifically, whether the hardest part of education is "the unlearning of things."

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WILLOW: Yes, basically, but the crazy thing is it doesn’t have to be like that.

JADEN: Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.

WILLOW: Forever, ‘til the day that we’re in our bed.

JADEN: Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty.

WILLOW: They never want to do anything, they’re so tired.

JADEN: You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.

WILLOW: I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, “Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.” But it was the worst experience because I was depressed.

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Maybe it's best they don't go to a "normal school." Could you imagine having to sit next to these two blowhards on the bus?

If your mind isn't sufficiently blown, man, you can read the entire interview here.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

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