Who will the world pity for being single now that Jennifer Aniston is married?!

Who will the world pity for being single now that Jennifer Aniston is married?!
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I hope it's me!!!!

According to TMZ, those ants wandering around in a sea of tea lights in the above photograph are actually wedding guests of perennial spinster Jennifer Aniston. While we were imagining Aniston spending the summer crying (and then rehydrating with Smart Water), she was actually planning a wedding at her Bel Air mansion that "surprised" everyone last night. Or more likely, someone planned it who was paid very well to recreate the final scene of She's All That.

The concept of a surprise wedding for a celebrity is hilarious. Just picture being the person who was like, "Eh, I don't feel like going to Jennifer and Justin's thing tonight. It's just gonna be another passé crudité and cocktails thing. Nothing special." Then you wake up in the morning, check your Instagram feed and your eyes pop out of your head when you realize what you've skipped. Talk about FOMO.

Oh, yeah, she married long-time partner Justin Theroux, not Ross. Also, this is the first thing that came up when I Googled "Jennifer Aniston married":

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He's...3 years old? (via...Google)

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Apparently, now that he's married Jennifer Aniston, it's just a short dash until the end. But what an accomplishment!

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