Joe Jonas, the middle Jonas Brother and once-subscriber to the promise of promise rings, took to Reddit on Tuesday to talk about his penis, how he uses his penis, the size of his penis, and some of the people who have or haven't seen his penis.
1. The size
To start off, one fan asked if it was true that "youre the Jonas bro thats hangin the most meat in his skinny jeans?"
"I like to think so," responded Jonas, because of course he would. "Although, it's not that often that I'm in a locker room or shower with my brothers, so I couldn't really tell you. But, I'd like the Internet to believe that I'm still killin' it."
So, speculation on the size of Joe Jonas' penis: check. Moving on.
2. Its virginity
Who was the first person to rip the promise ring from Joe Jonas' cold, pop star hands?
"I lost my virginity to this girl named Ashley," said Jonas, blowing up Ashley's spot. "You can probably just Google it." At this point, you can Google it, but you'll just get 100 news stories about this interview. "It's pretty easy to figure out," he continued. "I dated a girl named Ashley, so just Google it to figure out which Ashley that is."
Here's the story of Jonas searching desperately for a condom.
It's quite the great story because I didn't have any condoms, so I went to our drummer, Jack's room, who was my roommate at the time and I demolished his room looking for them. Found them underneath his underwear drawer. When he came home, he thought somebody broke into his room because his whole room was demolished because I was in dire need. Needed to happen then and now. Safety first, kids.
3. How's it act around famous women?
Someone asked if Jonas had "a boner 100% of the time while filming the Body Moves music video? ... It's definitely one of the sexiest music videos of all time. Tastefully sexy."
The answer included, but was not limited to, the phrase "half chubbing going on."
4. How's it act around fans?
Has Joe Jonas' penis ever interacted with a fan? A commenter with a silly username asked, "Have you ever hooked up with a fan ?"
Duh. And this concludes today's news about Joe Jonas' penis.