Well, it's happened. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are getting divorced. And as a nation mourns, details of their doomed union are starting to come out. Like the fact that apparently Depp's family absolutely hated Heard from the get-go. Heard filed for divorce just days after the death of Depp's mother, Betty Sue Palmer, who had moved in with them earlier this year. So in a way, it's almost like…Amber Heard killed Johnny Depp's mother. Right?
Sources told TMZ that Depp's teenage kid, Lily Rose and Jack (whose mother is singer Vanessa Paradis), as well as his two sisters AND his mother all openly "hated" Amber. Palmer reportedly told friends she thought Heard was using her son for his fame and money. Those same sources also said that Amber treated Johnny "like crap." Heard reportedly had "2 closed door sit-downs" with Palmer (who are they, the Corleones?) which both resulted in Palmer calling Heard a "terrible person." So that sounds like a good and healthy relationship all around. Really surprised the couple didn't last.
People claimed that Depp showed no signs of distress at Monday's premiere of Alice Through The Looking Glass (in which he reprises his role as The Mad Hatter). Clearly, they missed or are not counting the fact that Depp's band, Hollywood Vampires, featuring Alice Cooper and Joe Perry (clue number #1—he's in a band, and that band also includes Joe Perry), is touring this summer (clue number #2—they are touring) as a sign of distress. Definitely no signs of midlife crisis there.
Also, in case you missed it, there was no pre-nup. Because why wouldn't a marriage between a 52-year-old man and a woman 22 years younger than him, for whom he left his baby momma and partner of 14 years, work out?
It's okay to feel bad for Depp—his mom died and his lady's leaving him. But while you're feeling sad about him, remember to spare a few thoughts for Vanessa Paradis, the woman he never married, only to break up with, and marry someone else right afterwards. Although she's probably someplace laughing herself silly right now.