Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (TM) want you to believe their post-show ritual is essentially a designer clothing advertisement, and you know what? I'm more than ready to believe them.

On her locked-to-the-public website, people who actually pay for access say that Kim Kardashian revealed the two things Kanye West wants from her after each show.

"After every show," says Kim Kardashian-West, "I always greet Kanye with a black Versace towel and a glass of water in a Versace glass. And there was a fun slushy machine in the friends and family room."


What a missed opportunity to plug Versace water. And is it a Versace slushy? Is it made of designer ice and designer jeans and leather designer jackets so fine they need 10 seconds in a blender to become a healthy, nutritional Versace vitamin crust you can inject by IV?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have reached true self-parody, and for that I congratulate them. Enjoy your time in the White House. See you in 2020.