The Taylor Swift/Kim Kardashian feud is everything right now. It's exactly like the Tupac/Biggie beef of 1996, only 100% less cool. If you don't know what's going on in this celebrity feud, congratulations—you have a life. And if you're commenting snake emojis on Taylor Swift's Instagram, seek help.
But if you're still figuring out who to align yourself with in this feud, the answer is clear. (It's Britney Spears, but she's not even remotely involved, so let's go with Katy Perry.) Katy is kind of the third wheel in this drama (having her own Bad Blood with Taylor), but you know she's loving every minute of this Taylor take-down from afar.
Here are 5 reasons Katy Perry is so much better than Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift.
1. Katy Perry is more subtle with her social media disses.
Kim slammed Tay with a serpent subtweet.
Taylor left an Instagram cry for help.
Katy said it all with a hif (Hillary-gif).
2. Katy parties like she's got nothing to prove.
Kim parties by looking at her reflection.
Taylor parties by holding Ryan Reynolds hostage at a snuggle party.
Katy parties by just chillin'.
3. Katy loves America better.
Kim shows her American pride with emojis.
Taylor shows her American pride with her #squadgoals.
Katy shows her American pride by trying to get people to vote.
4. Katy is better at celebrity PDA.
Kim's PDA with Kanye. Ew no.
Hiddleswift PDA = barf in my mouth.
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom's PDA leaves room for the Holy Ghost. GREAT JOB, GUYS!
5. Katy's got better backup.
Yes, Kim's family has her back, but we all know who Kim's true BFF is:
Taylor got some support from Chloë Grace Moretz, who sent a subtweet with a couple of words in ALL CAPS. This provoked an online cat fight with Kim's sister Khloe, so it probably did more harm than good.
Katy Perry was vindicated by Taylor's ex Calvin Harris when he dropped the subtweet heard round the world. Do you remember where you were when this explosive tweet changed all our lives forever?
Clearly Katy Perry is a way better human than Kim or Taylor, but TBH Katy's dog is better than all three of them combined.
Seriously though, Kim K., T-Swift, and K.P. should all just make up and be friends with each other. They have so much in common—they're all rich, hot, and dumb enough to date John Mayer. (Yes, even Kim went slummin'.)