Human brand Kim Kardashian won a Webby Award on Monday night for her accomplishments in breaking the Internet. She received this most recent award presumably for her nude selfie and other social media exploits, and not because she's actually a member of an elite hacker collective (although you wouldn't know if she was because...duh). Also, her game was so last year, so it couldn't have been that. Webby acceptance speeches are only five words long, so Kardashian had this to say:
As a reminder, here's the nude selfie that launched 1,000 Internet-breaks:
While "nude selfies till I die" is a good, on-brand statement, Kim can go further. This is the future, after all. What about a hologram that can take nude selfies in fancy bathrooms for decades after Kim's passing? A digital tombstone that displays nude selfies above her final resting place? A scholarship fund that can help give the next generation the support they need to take their own nude selfies? This big, Kim. Nude selfies are timeless.*
*Well, either that, or in 100 years or so, human beings will be so comfortable with nudity that the idea of a nude selfie breaking the Internet will probably seem laughably antiquated.