"Is Lindsay Lohan okay?" I ask myself at least once a week. And her latest social media activity has done little to assuage my concerns. The Mean Girls actress, most recently starring in Lindsay Lohan's Life*, took to Instagram yesterday to share a poem she wrote about the Syrian refuge crisis. Or is it about the Lindsay Lohan crisis?
*not a real show. Or is it?
Let's see if we can figure it out. Here's the poem (at least until she deletes it, which she has already done once before re-posting):
LiLo captioned the post: "LL book*. Truth is being honest. #GiveBack."
*not a real book. Or is it?
Now let's analyze, because I didn't get an English degree for nothing! The opening line "sometimes i hear the voice of the one i loved the most" sure seems like it's about Lindsay Lohan crisis.
Then things take a surprising turn. "Who i am to be the girl who is scared and hurt, when most things that happen i cannot explain" she writes. Huh. Maybe this really is about Syria.
Then it gets back to Lindsay again. "I try to understand, when i'm sitting in bed alone at 3am," she writes. "So i can't sleep, i roll over. I can't think and my body becomes cold. I immediately feel older....."
But then, if you can overlook the grammar and punctuation, she makes some decent points about privilege and perspective: "Than i realise, at least I am in a bed. I am still alive. So what can really be said? Just go to bed and close the blinds."
She then drops what is perhaps the best line of the entire poem/2017 so far: "I cannot help but want to fix all these idle isis minds."
Did she just throw major shade at Isis AND imply that she wants to personally solve a global refuge crisis?
Then there's this dramatic ending, wherein she proposes her own somewhat unorthodox solution:
if only I can keep trying to fix it all
I would keep the world living loving and small
I would share my smiles
and give too Many kisses.
I guess you could say the poem is all-encompassing: it's about Syria. And it's about Lindsay.
To her credit, the actress has volunteered with Syrian refuge kids in the past, and told Page Six last month that she planned to spend more time helping refugees in the New Year. Which is more than can be said for most of us.
But though I admire her literary pursuits and desire to solve a global refuge crisis, I also hope she sticks to her day job: being Lindsay Lohan. She's great at that.