As if it wasn't strange enough that Amy Schumer had Madonna do standup comedy before her performance at Madison Square Garden on Tuesday night, the singer went and made it a thousand times weirder by promising to perform oral sex on anyone who votes for Hillary Clinton.

"If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob, okay? I'm good. I'm good. I'm not a douche and I'm not a tool. I take my time. I have a lot of eye contact. And I do swallow."


…Ladies and gentlemen, Amy Schumer!

Now that's an introduction.

Most comedians would not want to follow Madonna, much less Madonna talking about the political mouth sex she'll exchange for votes.

So it's a testament to Schumer's star power that she still managed to make every headline on Wednesday morning about her own performance at the same show.

And as bizarre as Madonna's set was, it marks a general improvement over her first try at standup.


You got this, Madonna. Next thing you know, you'll have earned a trip to The Tonight Show. Oh, wait.