Netflix released the teaser trailer for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events today, and it might be the first television show in history to warn all prospective viewers to try something more uplifting instead, like House of Cards or Cannibal Holocaust.

Point taken, Lemony Snicket.

By the way, yes that is Patrick Warburton—aka Puddy, the boyfriend of Seinfeld's Elaine—as Lemony.