Happy birthday, Nicolas Cage! The Internet's favorite actor, secret Coppola relative and punchline (sorry, Chuck Norris), turns 52 today, January 7. To celebrate, here's the story of his final resting place. Don't worry, he's still alive.
Cage's tomb is in New Orleans, in the historic St. Louis Cemetery #1. (Yes, the cemetery is named St. Louis, but it's in New Orleans.) Dating from 1789, St. Louis #1 is the oldest surviving cemetery in the Big Easy, filled with beautiful above-ground marble tombs containing generations of the city's oldest families, as well as mayors, war heroes, musicians, at least one voodoo queen, and other beloved locals. Plus, someday, Nic Cage. I snapped some pictures of the cemetery on a recent vacation to the city.
As a tour guide explained to my delight, Cage bought his tomb in 2010, paying a rumored $8 million, most of that to the families whose plots he displaced. (Nicholas Cage is, on an unrelated note, not good with money.) After bulldozing those historic structures, he put up a massive 9-foot-tall pyramid to house his bones and immortal hairline once his mortal body is no more.
The tomb doesn't have his name on it (he's modest like that), just a Latin inscription: "Omnia ab uno," which translates to "All from one." That quote, as well as the pyramid symbol, are references to Cage's movie National Treasure.
That's right. This guy built himself a multimillion dollar monument based on a movie he had acted in three years before. That may seems ludicrously egotistical, but remember this: it's an awesome movie. It even contains the greatest line in film history:
Epic, no doubt. Clearly this man has a great love of American history. But does that justify bulldozing part of a historic American location almost as old as the Revolution just to make it your own? Ultimately, our opinions don't matter. Only one person is fit to cast judgment on him: Ghost Rider.
Note that the burial plot is only one aspect of Cage's fascination with New Orleans and the macabre. He previously owned a lot more property in the city, including its most famous haunted house, the LaLaurie Mansion. Cage owned that house (which was the basis for American Horror Story: Coven) until 2009, when it was seized by the IRS. Nicholas Cage is, again, bad with money.
Legend has it that the tormented spirits in the mansion will find a way to force out any owner of the house who they dislike, so maybe they somehow possessed Cage and made him irresponsible with money and convinced him not to pay his taxes. Or he just has poor foresight, unlike his character in Next:
This man is the true national treasure. As far as I'm concerned, he can bury himself wherever he wants.