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If you've ever wondered if actors take their work home with them at the end of the day, Nicole Kidman has your answer. The 50-year-old actress, who plays a woman in an abusive relationship in the hit HBO show Big Little Lies, revealed in a new interview with W that filming the scenes left her feeling "very exposed and vulnerable and deeply humiliated at times."

On the show, Kidman plays Celeste, a character who is being physically, emotionally and sexually abused by her husband Perry, played by Alexander Skarsgård. And she says although there was "an enormous amount of trust" on set, she still absorbed the brunt of her character's painful experiences.

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The actress told W:

Alex was so in it, and I was so in it, and there was—talking about trust—an enormous amount of trust there, yet at times it felt dangerous and really upsetting, and I would go home afterwards and I would feel—I would keep on a very brave face at work and then I would go home and I didn't realize how much it had penetrated me. And it affected me in a deep way.

There's a particularly violent and graphic abuse scene in episode 7, which Kidman said was one of the hardest for her to film. "I remember lying on the floor in the bathroom…and I just wouldn’t get up in-between takes," she told W. "I was just lying there, sort of broken and crying."

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This sounds awful. But the actress says she was willing to go through it "because that's what I felt was important for the role," she said, adding: "I’m here to tell the story and to be true to the art, not to bring my own problems in terms of what I feel comfortable with, not comfortable with."

Kidman also said she is "glad" she was able to help shine a spotlight on sexual abuse and domestic violence. In particular, the role illuminates how difficult it is for many victims to leave an abuser. "I’m glad that it’s created the conversation," she said. "I’m glad that it sort of pulled the veil off. I’ve received the most amazing e-mails from people saying I now understand why women stay or why people stay with an abuser."

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She continued: "If that changes one person’s life, that’s amazing for me."

Sources: W Magazine