Paris Hilton's dog Tinkerbell dwells in God's handbag now.

Paris Hilton's dog Tinkerbell dwells in God's handbag now.
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Tinkerbell was seen in her day as a symbol of entitlement, "celebutante" privilege, and the decline of American morals. All that seems so quaint now.






In honor & memory of Tinkerbell I'm dedicating my Instagram page to her today. I hope you enjoy the memories of my sweet angel We've been through so much together. She lived a long, beautiful, luxurious & exciting life. #RIPTinkerbell
A photo posted by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on

Tinkerbell Hilton, 14, passed away in California yesterday of old age. Star of The Simple Life and scene-stealer of a million paparazzi shots, the shivering, yipping, and (according to rumors) occasionally NBC producer-nipping Chihuahua ushered in an age of couture handbag dogs.

Tinkerbell hosting Saturday Night Live & #Killingit in the opening monologue. #LikeABoss #SNL #RIPTinkerbell

A video posted by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on

Canines under five pounds everywhere nervously applauded Tinkerbell's legacy, allowing them to finally leave their houses and embrace public life in the protection of everyday Hilton fans' knockoff Coach purses.






To everyone who keeps asking if Tinkerbell is alive. Here she is, the original queen herself!
A video posted by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on

Although Tinkerbell's show The Simple Life was seen as raunchy and envelope-pushing at the time, a rewatching of the dog's oeuvre reveals how tame and, frankly, professional the dog's pioneering reality TV show was in comparison to reality television of the 2010s.

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Where our journey began... #TheSimpleLife #FirstDogRealityStar #RIPTinkerbell

A photo posted by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on

Other, more shameless dogs have since followed in Tink's spastic footsteps, like that preening blowhard who pisses on Lisa Vanderpump's arm every five minutes on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh, and let's not forget that trollop "Mr. Amazing," the world's smallest pomeranian that Hilton just bought a few months ago.

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Raise your hand if Paris Hilton's dog has written more books than you. (via Amazon)

Often underestimated, many people forget Tinkerbell is a published author, having written The Tinkerbell Diaries: My Life Tailing Paris Hilton. Not content to write a standard celebrity biography, Tinkerbell made sure the publishers put "FICTION/HUMOR" on the title to differentiate it from her other, more historical works.

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You shall be missed, Tinkerbell. By reality television, where you ushered in the first true golden age since The Real World, by handbag makers who realized that all these dogs pissing in their bags meant their idiot owners needed new bags all the time, and by me. And possibly Paris Hilton and the fleet of tiny canines you left as a legacy.

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