I like talking about celebrity news with my baby boomer parents. It's so cute to even hear words like "Lady Gaga" and "Beyoncé" come out of their mouths. Less cute is whenever Kim Kardashian comes up, because she always does, and that's when my dad asks: "Remind me again, why is she famous?"
And that's when I scream and run out of the room.
You and I both know why she's famous, maybe, probably. But I'd rather be famous for a sex tape than say the words "sex tape" in front of my dad. So here are some answers you can give your dad next time he asks that aren't "aghhhh!!!!!!!!!!"
1. The OJ connection.
Kim's dad was power-attorney Robert Kardashian, who famously helped defend O.J. Simpson during O.J.'s trial in 1996. And her mom, Kris Jenner, was friends with Nicole Simpson. Kim even wore Nicole's necklace once! There's even a theory that her dad was carrying the bag containing the murder weapon.
Bringing up the O.J. trial is a great way to sidetrack your dad. He'll ramble on about a glove for the next hour and forget his initial question. Disaster averted.
2. Her stepmom is Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce.
Today Caitlyn Jenner is perhaps most famous as Kim's former stepdad, now stepmother, after she famously announced last year that she identified as a woman and subsequently transitioned. But back in the day she was Bruce Jenner, an Olympic gold medal-winning decathlete who married Kris Jenner in 1991, becoming Kim's stepdad.
This decoy response will likely result in you explaining Caitlin's transition to your dad, which could also take several hours. By then you'll be so frustrated with him you'll both have forgotten the original question.
3. She's a super-ambitious and savvy business-woman.
Kim may have grown up privileged, but even when she was young, she worked super-hard even when she didn't have to: selling things on eBay, helping run a kids' clothing store, Smooch, with her mom and sisters. And she worked as a stylist.
So she's famous because she worked really, really hard to be famous. This answer will remind your dad that he worked much harder in his youth than you ever did—his favorite subject.
4. Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton is famous because her dad is billionaire hotel tycoon Richard Hilton. And she was really, really talented at being a reality star. Kim and Paris became friends when they were kids and some have argued, like this meme (which Paris liked on Instagram), that it was this friendship that made Kim famous. Because fame is contagious.
This is a convincing explanation for your dad, because dads can't argue with money.
5. Kris Jenner.
Kim may seem like she orchestrated her own fame, and she definitely had a big part in it. But Kris Jenner, Kim's famous "Momager," has been working diligently behind (and in front of) the scenes this whole time to help Kim get, and remain, famous. Your dad can't argue with this one. He knows how powerful a mother's resolve can be.
So, congrats! You've made it through another family encounter without telling your dad the real reason Kim Kardashian is famous.
Now you're off the hook until the next news cycle.