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With so many celebrity dick pics coming out recently, we decided to rank them in a head-to-head contest. (NSFW, obviously)

Whose peen will reign supreme?

Life is different for male and female celebrities. Female celebrities have their nude photos leaked by expert hackers who access their personal files and distribute their most intimate images across the whole world. Male celebrities take pictures of their dicks and then release them themselves, either on purpose or through very dumb mistakes. Hackers don't even want them, but they get out anyway.

Recently, there has been a wave of celebrity dick pics and dick movies cresting over the Internet. With such a glut of man-meat at our disposal, we felt we had no choice but to compare every piece to see who has the prize hog. But we knew we had to be scientific about it. And thus began the Someecards Miss Penis Pageant.