Ricky Gervais is returning as Golden Globes host at Sunday's ceremony, and viewers are gearing up for a night that'll be more roasting than toasting. Having hosted the show in 2010, 2011, and 2012, Gervais has established a brutally honest, no-holds-barred approach to taking on the biggest celebrities who are right there in the room with him. Get warmed up for the roast with Gervais' best, most brutal jokes of Golden Globes past.
20. On NBC's viewership.
"I'm going to be making most of this opportunity... I'm not used to these sort of viewer figures. Let's face it: nor is NBC." (2010)
19. On plastic surgery.
"On a serous note, just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that's been done this year...by cosmetic surgeons." (2010)
18. On Tim Allen's career.
"What can I say about our next two presenters? The first is an actor, producer, writer, and director whose movies have grossed over $3.5 billion at the box office. He's won two Academy Awards and three Golden Globes for his powerful and varied performances starring in such films as Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Castaway, Apollo 13, and Saving Private Ryan. The other is Tim Allen." (2011)
17. On Jay Leno.
"Let's get on with it before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno." (2010)
16. On actors and writers.
"This next category is a bit of a downer, to be honest. It's for writing. We all know writers get way too much credit in Hollywood. And that's due to the generosity of actors sometimes mentioning them. What would writers do without actors?...It's not the words you're saying, but how good you look saying them." (2010)
15. On Mel Gibson.
"I like a drink as much as the next man... unless the next man is Mel Gibson." (2010)
14. On Charlie Sheen.
"It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast." (2011)
13. On The Tourist.
"It was a big year for 3D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. It seemed like everything this year was three-dimensional. Except the characters in The Tourist." (2011)
12. On the Sex and the City ladies.
"Nothing for Sex and the City 2? I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster." (2011)
11. On Hugh Hefner.
"Talking of The Walking Dead, congratulations to Hugh Hefner, who is getting married at the age of 84 to 24-year-old beauty Crystal Harris. When asked why she was marrying him, she said, 'He lied about his age. He told me he was 94'. Don't worry, hold out... Just don't look at it when you touch it." (2011)
10. On Bruce Willis.
"Please welcome Ashton Kutcher's dad, Bruce Willis!" (2011)
9. On Johnny Depp.
"Please welcome the man who will wear literally anything Tim Burton tells him to: Johnny Depp." (2012)
8. On Melissa McCarthy.
"She made her mark in comedy this summer by defecating into a sink. Amazingly, that's still less demeaning than what most of you have done to make it in show business." (2012)
7. On Tom Cruise.
"Also not nominated, I Love You Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists, then. My lawyers helped with that joke." (2011)
6. On J.Lo.
"The next two presenters are charming, funny, and down to earth. He's Alec from the Rock, she's just Jenny from the Block, if the block in question is that one of Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada. Please welcome Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez." (2011)
5. On Steve Carell.
"[This next presenter] got his big break when I cast him in a remake of a show that I created called The Office. He's now leaving that show and killing a cash cow for the both of us. Please welcome... the ungrateful Steve Carell!" (2011)
4. On The Globes vs. The Oscars.
"For those who don't know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all of that... esteem. The Golden Globes is to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton, basically. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker, and a bit more easily bought." (2012)
3. On Jodie Foster.
"And I'm not to libel anyone. And I must not mention Mel Gibson this year. Not his private life, his politics, his recent films, and especially not Jodie Foster's Beaver. I haven't seen it myself. I spoken to a lot of guys here, they haven't seen it either. That doesn't mean it's not any good." (2012)
2. On Robert Downey Jr.
"He has done all of those films, but many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as The Betty Ford Clinic and the Los Angeles County Jail. Robert Downey Jr!" (2011)
1. On Angelina Jolie.
"Actors aren't just loved here in Hollywood, they are loved the world over. You could be in the third world and get a glimpse of a Hollywood star and it could make you feel a little bit better. You could be a little Asian child with no possessions and no money. But you could see a picture of Angelina Jolie and you'd think, ‘Mummy!'" (2010)