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Every other post about this news will start with a "Hey girl," but I'll skip that and get right to the important news which is that apparently those goddamn sneaky sneakers Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are married. Us Weekly is reporting that they wed "earlier this year," and neglected to alert the paparazzi, which is, when you think about it, pretty rude.

Mendes' headwear game is consistently on point. Also, he's perfect.
Mendes' headwear game is consistently on point. Also, he's perfect.
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Mendes, 42, and Gosling, 35, met while working on the 2012 film The Place Beyond The Pines. Their wedding took place "among a small group of family and friends," and luckily those who attended were trustworthy enough to keep it quiet.