Celebrities: they're just like us, except they're rich, famous, and can get away with crimes (just ask OJ). These eight celebs famously served out a much shorter sentence than what the judge initially ordered for them. Some of them barely served any time at all. And in a strange coincidence, many of them went to the big house around the same time: the late '00s. It's like going to jail was the cool thing to do then, along with wearing big sunglasses and Juicy Couture.
Nicole Richie, 82 minutes
Before completing her transition from inexplicably famous hot mess to inexplicably famous stylish starlet, Richie was sentenced to a four-day stay at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, following a DUI arrest. She served 82 minutes, which is 80 minutes longer than the average human being can stand watching The Simple Life. The sheriff's policy—which has helped out many celebs—was to release non-violent females sentenced to 30 days or less within 12 hours of their arrival.
Michelle Rodriguez, 4 hours 20 minutes
Chances are that if a celebrity got arrested in the 2000s, it was for a DUI. Such was the case for Michelle Rodriguez in 2006. She spent what was basically a long lunch in jail after violating the probation she received following a DUI. Rodriguez's original sentence was for 60 days.
Michelle Rodriguez, 18 days
After violating her probation by drinking while sporting an alcohol monitor, as well as neglecting to complete her community service, Michelle Rodriguez returned to jail for a 180-day sentence. She served a total of 18 days at the popular Lynwood prison, due to overcrowding.
Khloé Kardashian, 3 hours
Following a DUI that was well-documented on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, a then 23-year-old Khloé was served with a 30-day sentence. After arriving at the jail with her selfie-taking sister Kim in tow, Khloé stuck around for all of three hours—actually, a few minutes shy of three hours.
Paris Hilton, 3 days
Paris Hilton, the OG reality show starlet and former Kim Kardashian BFF (let us never forget what she hath wrought upon us), famously called jail her home for three days, a far cry from the 45 days she was sentenced to. Hilton's emotional stay was shortened because she had a rash. She was all ready to serve the rest of her term at home, until the judge intervened.
Paris Hilton, 18 days
The judge decided Hilton shouldn't get special treatment, and sent Hilton back to jail. In the end, Hilton served about half of her sentenced time, and gleefully pranced out of person in a green jacket. It was an exciting time in American media.
Charles Barkley, 36 hours
In the late '00s, it wasn't just the ladies who were getting drunk and driving around. Former basketball player Charles Barkley spent less than two days at Tent City in Arizona, following a DUI arrest after driving past a stop sign. Barkley was reportedly eager to make it to his destination because a woman in the car was going to go down on him. Barkley—who was lucky enough to have his own tent at the Phoenix prison—was sentenced to 10 days in 2009. He was released after agreeing to partake in an alcohol treatment program.
Lindsay Lohan, 84 minutes
2007 marked the beginning of Lindsay Lohan's many, many, very many public issues. After her second DUI arrest of the year (Lohan was driving with a suspended license and carrying cocaine), she received a four-day sentence in jail. Because she had already served time following her arrest and agreed to community service, Lohan spent 84 minutes in jail. Hardly seems worth the effort.
Lindsay Lohan, 13 days
After violating her probation by missing required classes, Lohan spent 13 days at jail in 2010, instead of her full 90-day sentence. Immediately after her release, Lohan entered a court-mandated rehab program which did not seem to do the trick.
Lindsay Lohan, 4.5 hours
After once again violating her probation by missing court-appointed meetings and community service, Lohan was sent back to the Lynwood jail in 2011. Maybe she liked the place? The judge handed the 25-year-old actress a 300-day sentence, but gave the OK for Lohan to serve 30 days. Due to the ever-so-useful excuse of overcrowding, Lohan ended up in jail for about four-and-a-half hours.
Lindsay Lohan, 0 hours
Despite pleading guilty to stealing a necklace from a jewelry store, and all her previous probation violations, Lohan managed to completely avoid jail following a 2011 sentencing. What was initially a 120-day sentence magically became five weeks of home arrest—against the judge's wishes. In 2013, Lohan similarly avoided jail for probation violations by agreeing to enter rehab yet again. In 2015, Lohan's probation for all her legal troubles finally ended, after what felt like forever.
Zsa Zsa Gabor, 3 days
In 1990, way before TMZ was filming celebrities, famous actress Zsa Zsa Gabor slapped a policeman on a motorcycle. The then 72-year-old checked into a "weekend jail program," according to the LA Times, which cost her $85 a day. Swanky.
Mike Tyson, 1 day
If you're a male athlete, Arizona is the place to go and drive wasted. Following a 2007 arrest for felony cocaine possession and a DUI, Mike Tyson served his full 24-hour sentence at Tent City, where Charles Barkley would be visiting in a few years. This was Tyson's second stint in prison: he served three years for rape in 1992.
Martha Stewart, 5 months
The inimitable Martha Stewart notoriously had a little vacation at a resort known as Federal Prison Camp in Alderson, West Virginia. Unlike so many other celebrities, Martha Stewart served her full sentence for lying about a stock sale—five months inside and five months on home arrest. During her time in West Virginia from 2004-2005, Stewart went by the nickname M. Diddy and spent her time doing yoga and crocheting. If you're going to go to jail, you want to go to Stewart's old stomping grounds.
Then again, hitting up the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California sounds like a good bet. With all the overcrowding they have there, it's likely your stint would be over in the same time it takes to watch all of Lindsay Lohan's successful movies from the last ten years.