(Update 5:40 PM: Calvin has responded.) Taylor Swift is lucky in Instagram fans and controversial videos, but she is absolutely, positively not lucky in love. That's part of her allure, really. No matter how pretty and famous and popular Taylor is, her songs are mostly about break-ups! That's why we relate to a billionaire with $3,000 cats. It seemed like things might be changing, but nope: Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift are no more, and the reason why is not what our pop princess deserves. Below is the photo of her multi-millionaire boyfriend surreptitiously exiting a $40 dollar "Thai massage" place:
There are, of course, many reasons why a man might go to a very cheap massage place that, according to Radar Online, is known for happy endings. Maybe he was going there before he was even famous. Maybe he was in the neighborhood. Maybe he was actually only getting a massage. But sources say T. Swift ain't buying it:
"When the photos got posted on RadarOnline, Taylor said to him, ‘What the f**k?!'" the insider said. But rather than come clean about what really happened, the insider claimed, “He lied to her. He gave some bullish*t excuse that his masseuse was sick and he needed his shoulder worked on." That wasn’t good enough for Swift, 25, who gave him the boot for good “about a week ago,” according to the source.
In Calvin Harris' defense, he has so much money he could pay ten people to give him a hand job at once on a bed scattered with diamonds. He does not need to go to some cheap-ass massage parlor, so maybe his masseuse really was sick. And to be fair to In Thai Massage parlor, their reviews suggest that many people try to get happy endings there, and none have admitted success. They are the first result when you search "happy ending" in Hollywood, though, so that may be where the confusion is coming from. Taylor is just very, very confused. We look forward to her next album, "Unhappy Endings."