Listen up, Lauren! You left your Fordham student ID in the park, which might compromise your ability to get back into your dorm. Luckily, America's Dad Tom Hanks has found it! A Forrest Gump impersonator might have fooled people on Tinder, but this is the real deal — he signed it with his signature "Hanx." Meet up in Riverside Park, and let him know "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly," as "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" plays.
Run, Lauren, run! And tell T. Hanks "thanks."