Ugh. The seasons are changing. Here we go again.
It's almost fall which means it's almost winter which means if you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, you will soon become a depressed, unmovable flesh-sack stored on a couch until April 2016. There is, however, hope. You have access to millions of movies, thanks to the Internet.
If you're looking for what movie to watch when the weather gets you down, here's a list of what to try.
1. The Truman Show
Does it feel like the world is conspiring against you? Are you in a funk because each day is more predictable than the last? Maybe you're unknowingly inside a TV show based around your life! Or maybe you just need to break out of all your old habits and go see the world. That's all Truman needed. Watch this one, and break free!
2. Fight Club
If you're really trying to snap out of your funk, maybe consider joining a club that eventually becomes an anarchist organization... Or watch this movie and join a book club maybe. Either way, Tyler Durden is here not to enable your sad self-pity all winter, but to make you do something with all your rotten feelings. Embrace the darkness and watch this movie four or five times in a row until you don't want to punch everyone you see (or you want to punch them more).
3. Hotel Rwanda
If you're ever thinking you have it worse than anyone, and if it were just warm enough to go for a walk and be alone with your thoughts, let this little movie remind you that many people have it worse. A lot worse. Holy shit. In fact, if you live in any developed country where there aren't genocides, count yourself lucky and cheer up.
4. Broadcast News
What better way to explain away crying for no reason than by watching Holly Hunter cry for no reason. This is one of the smartest movies about social anxiety and intimacy issues. Bonus: it's about how all of news media is going to shit. You're probably already enabling your depression by leaving cable news on all day. Why not watch the antidote with a dramedy about how the news was ruined?
5. The Graduate
Do you feel like you're under water? Like a fish in a bowl, and everyone is asking you question after question, and you just don't want to answer? Maybe start an affair with an older woman to spice things up? Or, again...just watch a movie about it. Bonus: the soundtrack alone makes this movie seasonal depression-worthy. Get ready to wallow through "Sounds of Silence!"
6. The Lives of Others
You'll be able to relate to the main character who never moves his face to smile or frown. Why show any emotion if you aren't feeling any? Oh, but you are! You are teeming with emotions just beneath the surface, just like the guy eavesdropping throughout this film. You're just too tired to show those feelings.
Also, Seasonal Affective Disorder makes everything look like East Germany before The Wall fell, so you'll be in sync with the movie.
Who hasn't felt like screaming "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" no matter what the season? It's particularly good when you're depressed, because it glorifies a man who's clearly had a complete mental breakdown. At least you're not as crazy as Howard Beale or the people who let him continue to rant on TV.
8. Every Lord of the Rings movie, including the Hobbit movies
At a certain point, it will feel like you're accomplishing something by making it through. And that pseudo-productivity will hopefully inspire you to do something with yourself besides sit and watch movies all day.
9. Every James Bond movie
I mean...why not? You just finished all of Lord of the Rings. Might as well waste another few days watching the coolest action movies ever made.
10. Andy Warhol's Empire
Continue down this rabbit hole of movies that are way too long by watching all 8 hours of Andy Warhol's single shot of the Empire State Building. If it starts to resonate with you emotionally, call your therapist immediately.
11. The Lion King, duh.
Do I even need to explain this one? It's action-packed, the big songs are upbeat and about things getting better, plus it's an animated movie from your childhood or your kids' childhoods. You can't not enjoy yourself while watching it. Toy Story and Toy Story 3 will also do.
12. A Charlie Brown Christmas
Doesn't matter if it's before or after Christmas, here's someone who knows exactly how you're feeling. Charlie Brown isn't depressed necessarily. He just feels... off. Like The spirit of a holiday and the meaning of life itself has suddenly left him. Before he even hit puberty, no less. This movie is a great reminder that if you act really sad all the time, your friends will eventually intervene to make you feel better. No one likes a sad sack. Snap out of it, Charlie Brown! Your friends are here for you.
Under no circumstance should you watch It's a Wonderful Life. That movie is mostly a list of reasons the world could exist without you, followed up by a scene where everyone gives a guy money. Oh, and you also have to believe in angels for it to not be depressing. While we're at it, stay away from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I was a happy person until I saw that movie.