In an evening celebrating heartland tunes about breakups and cars and Jesus and whiskey, hosts Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley slipped in some irresistible "Maybe next time he'll think before he tweets" jokes.
The pair joked about the Country Music Association's scandal last week in which they reporters that they'd be kicked out if they asked singers about guns. Co-host Paisley stood up against the censorship, and the CMA apologized.
The hosts kicked off their monologue referencing the tiff.
Here's the transcript, via The Washington Post:
Underwood: “Now Brad, I don’t know if you’ve heard about this, but the CMA has given us some guidelines with specific topics to avoid, so we can’t be doing any of our silly little songs, because this year’s show is a politics-free zone.”
Paisley: “Are you kidding me? That’s not fair. So we can’t even do, like ‘Well, way down yonder on the Scaramucci . . . ‘ That doesn’t work?”
Underwood: “No. No. No Scaramucci, Brad, no.”
Paisley: “What about, like, ‘Well, she’s gone gone gone . . . gone gone gone . . . oh no, she’s wrote a memoir, Hillary’s back.’ Can’t do it?”
Underwood: “Creative, but no.”
Paisley: “So that means no more ‘Hold me closer, Bernie Sanders’?”
Underwood: “No, can’t do it.”
Paisley: “No ‘Harper Valley DNC’?”
Paisley: Not even ‘Stand By Your Manafort’?”
Underwood: “Definitely not.”
Paisley: “What are we going to do then?”
Underwood: “Well, I mean, clearly, we can’t say or play anything. So I guess to present our first award of the night, the stars of the new movie — what are you doing, Brad?”
Paisley: “Oh, I’m definitely not doing this one. (Starts playing the tune to Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.”) “Right now, he’s probably in his PJs watching cable news reaching for his cellphone/Right now, he’s probably asking Siri ‘How in the hell do you spell Pocahontas?’ . . . ”
Underwood: “Well, here we go . . . ”
Paisley: “In the middle of the night, from the privacy/of a gold-plated White House toilet seat/He writes ‘little Bob Corker, NFL and covfefe . . . ”
Underwood: “Covfefe!” (Briefly debate how to pronounce it.)
Paisley: “And it’s fun to watch, yeah, that’s for sure/till Little Rocket Man starts a nuclear war/And then maybe next time he’ll think before he tweets . . . ”
Underwood: “Yeah, we can’t do that one.”
Later in the show, Paisley joked that other "nixed" songs included "Huey Lewis and the Fake News" and "I'm So Indicted."
Naturally, Twitter was split along partisan lines, with the Trump Train absolutely AGHAST, telling singers to stick to singing. They're even calling for a boycott.
#TheResistance celebrated this surprising erosion of the Republican base.
I, for one, am psyched that country music stars are down to represent the view of the majority of the country.