Comedy Central aired the Roast of Rob Lowe on Labor Day, which featured, among others: Ralph Macchio, Peyton Manning, Pete Davidson, Jimmy Carr, David Spade, and ultra-conservative angry stick figure Ann Coulter. Coulter is absolutely hilarious, but not usually on purpose, so it's surprising that she'd choose her own material over jokes offered to her by roast writer Mike Lawrence. That's exactly what she did, though, and it was may not have been the best choice, considering Lowe's comment, "After seeing your set tonight, we’ve seen the first bombing you can’t blame on a Muslim." Awww… if she had feelings, they might have been hurt.
So since the vulture named Ann Coulter didn't use his proffered jokes, Lawrence shared a few of them with another Vulture (the website):
1. "Peyton Manning is a model citizen and his forehead is a model for the wall that Trump’s going to put between the U.S. and Mexico."
2. "Ralph Macchio's first-ever credit was in the movie Up the Academy, playing a character called Chooch Bambalazi. Are you serious? Even Donald Trump thinks it’s too racist to call a wop Chooch Bambalazi."
3. "That would be like if Jeff Ross’s first credit was a character called Mosha Gefilte Fish Streisand Ziegmilliaberg. And before you ask Jeff, I wouldn’t fuck you with Hillary Clinton’s dick."
4. "Rob Lowe is like America: He hasn’t been great since Reagan was president, and unemployment is becoming more and more of a problem for him."
5. "Giving you a roast is the worst decision Comedy Central’s made since they replaced Jon Stewart with a South African child. That’s a Trevor Noah joke, the one immigrant I’m most excited to see deported. Am I white, people? Am I white?"