If you wanted to see what a "manuscripts expert" having an orgasm looks like, today's your day.
On Sunday's episode of the BBC's Antiques Roadshow, old-book-lover Matthew Haley came across a notebook of "scientific scholarly notes" about William Shakespeare written by a contemporary. He could barely contain his delicate British excitement.
"My goodness, is this a good thing."
A man brought the notebook to Haley, which had been passed down in his family for generations. If he values it at all, he might think twice about leaving it alone with the expert, who might joyfully throw up on it at any second.
"Flicking through this, it is a 17th century hand. This is somebody making notes in the same century as Shakespeare. Anything, really, from the same century as him, about him, is of huge interest."
Don't rip it!
"When the value to scholarship is this great, the commercial value also has to be great."
Once he calmed down enough to think, Haley valued the item at over £30,000, or about $38,000.
So kids, don't throw out your old notebooks. Nerds will buy them in four hundred years for tons of sweet, sweet future dollars.