After enduring the Jersey Shore cast in our own backyard for three loud, belligerent, spray-tanned seasons, it's only natural we'd try to pawn them off on some other unsuspecting country. But that doesn't mean we don't feel slightly guilty about contaminating the beautiful land of Italy with a sudden rash of blow-outs, Affliction shirts, and Deena. That's why we've created this handy English phrase book to help the fine people of our favorite boot-shaped nation interact with the freakish people of our favorite Snooki-shaped reality show. (By Chase Mitchell for