If you reach for the pavement...you will probably make it.
The Commonwealth Games are happening right now in Glasgow, Scotland, and all of the former British Empire is tuning in to watch the best athletes (well, the best athletes who don't want to risk injury before the next Olympics) from each country compete in the spirit of peace and harmony. And embarrassing little-kid wipeouts.
This footage comes from the 40km marathon race through the streets of Glasgow, where one little kid decided to grab glory and keep pace with these Kenyan women. Much like the British Empire itself, however, his glory ended swiftly and embarrassingly while the people of the colonies kept moving forward. I think this kid should feel pretty good about himself, though. The former Empire was so vast that it was often said that the sun never set on it. Think about the ripple of joy that started in Scotland, right where that kid wiped out, and then echoed across that former world dominion (with the added bonus of a guy with an Australian accent saying "hit the deck" so that it sounds like "hit the dick"). If subjugating 25% of the world means they all get to share in such a simple delight, maybe colonization wasn't that bad after all.
In terms of epic-win levels, this is the diametric opposite of the guy who saluted the Tour de France winner with a 50-meter wheelie.
(by Johnny McNulty)