Scream Queens, the new horror-comedy show from American Horror Story/Glee creator Ryan Murphy, premiered last week. And viewers have one big question on their minds: why did he include a joke about a "white mammy"? Oh and also, who is the Red Devil? The costumed character did quite a lot of murdering in and around the Kappa Kappa Tau sorority in the two-hour season opener, and everyone is a suspect. Theories will likely be flying around the Internet all season long, but after the first installment, I'm going to boldly declare that I think the Red Devil is Wes Gardner, aka protagonist Grace's hot dad. Here's why.
1. He's too nice and he's too hot. It's suspicious.
Wes Gardner is introduced as such a good dad and such a handsome man that it immediately raises red flags. He makes Grace an adorable personalized playlist for the car trip to college, he tells her she's his "best friend," and he agrees to a pre-planned three-second-hug-and-exit to make saying goodbye at her dorm room easier. He basically does everything right. Meanwhile, the other characters are straight up obsessed with death. Sorority sister Hester has too many ideas about how to dispose of a body, frat bro Chad got his "first boner watching Faces Of Death," and pretty much every line of dialogue can be interpreted as a threat to someone's life. It already would only be an interesting twist if Wes is the Red Devil, because everyone else is too obvious.
2. He really, really, really doesn't want Grace to join a sorority.
He tells Grace, "I know you think sororities are some kind of like magical sisterhood but it's actually Game of Thrones once you pull back the veneer." He's not the first parent to warn his kid about Greek life, but why is he so intense about it? Because he knows there's a Red Devil stabbing and disfiguring people like it's a Westerosi wedding?
3. The Red Devil has multiple opportunities to kill Grace, but never does.
We've seen RD peeping at Grace when she first arrives at the sorority house for rush and when she snoops around in the basement. If the Red Devil is truly targeting the sorority sisters of Kappa, then she should be as stabbed as Ariana Grande's character (RIP). The dean even (super creepily) says she can "guarantee" that Grace won't be targeted by the serial killer. So why is Grace being spared? Is it because the murderer is her dad-slash-best-friend?
4. Wes maneuvers ways to be on campus.
You'd think college students and faculty would have easiest access to murdering sorority sisters, but Wes seems to spend a lot of time on campus for a hot dad. First, he brings Grace to campus and we see him leave her dorm but not the entire area. Does he stick around to turn on the Kappa fryer that dooms Ms. Bean? Later, Wes reveals that he's a professor and asks the dean for a job on campus so he can keep Grace safe. And fake Nick Jonas's murder? The Kappas also spot Wes sitting in a car outside their sorority house right before the Red Devil kills a security guard. Dude better have a tight alibi.
5. Wes is Mr. Playlist.
Wes tells the Kappa national president, "I have a thing for playlists. I'm like Mr. Playlist." He has such a thing for playlists that the first line he says in the entire show is, "I made a playlist." He creates "Grace College Drive" for the trip to school, which Grace notes has a "literal" title. And in his car alone, Wes listens to another literally named playlist of male power ballads from 1995, the year that a Kappa sorority sister gave birth and died in the opening flashback scene. Meanwhile, Grace finds a playlist—which her hot dad has a thing for—in the sorority's basement room full of secrets, also from that night in 1995 when a Kappa sister died. It has the literal name, "Kappa Kappa Tau Party Mix." Playlists. 1995. Hot dads. Murder. It's all connected.
6. Could Wes be the father of the baby in the opening scene? And is Grace the baby?
As evidenced by Wes being hot, he's also young, which means he could have been around the same age as the sorority sister who died in 1995. And he's a former professor, so it's possible that he worked on campus 20 years ago. If he was the father of the bathtub baby, he could have taken custody when the mother died. And we know Grace's mom was in Kappa, so it could have been her. The only thing that doesn't add up is that Grace is 18, not 20, as a baby born in 1995 should be. But how do any of us really know how old we are anyway? Unless we ask to see our birth certificate, we usually believe what our parents tell us. And we don't have any reason not to believe them, unless they're the Red Devil.
Many questions still remain. Like, is any of this true? And why does Wes Gardner have such a similar name to hot Good Wife character Will Gardner? And why isn't Nick Jonas on SNL? Hopefully we'll find out in tonight's episode.