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No one believes the 19-year-old Haley when she says she's pregnant. Or when she says she's pregnant with Jesus. No one believes that, either.

In an upcoming episode of Dr. Phil that looks a lot like must-see TV, Haley says she's taken six pregnancy tests (all negative) but for some reason no one will believe she's pregnant, let alone with the second coming of the savior.

"You're probably just getting fat," everyone tells Haley, according to Haley. "I know it's Jesus."

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"Do you feel tension in your family right now?" asks a goddamn clueless Dr. Phil. Tension? The girl thinks she's having a baby Jesus and no one will even admit she's pregnant!

"I am pregnant!" screams Haley, before adding more demurely, "And it is Jesus."

Haley's mom does not seem too excited to become Jesus' grandmother.
Haley's mom does not seem too excited to become Jesus' grandmother.

The promo makes no mention of a possible father and yet on Thursday, Haley will have an ultrasound. Gotta love daytime television.

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