I don't like where his eyes are going.
Hey, guys! Remember that time back in 1990 when Oprah Winfrey had the grotesque real-world manifestations of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon characters on her talk show, and then she asked them if they ever fantasized about their human friend April being a turtle, with the strong implication that it would be so that they could copulate with her?*
No? Really? Isn't that, like, a classic TV moment, up there with Geraldo Rivera opening Al Capone's safe and Hawkeye Pierce making the Korean lady on the bus kill her chicken? What? It's not? How is this not the most famous thing to ever happen in front of a television camera?
Luckily, some genius person out there had the foresight to preserve this syndicated gem on VHS, so maybe it will finally get its due. The moment in question happens at the 24:18 minute mark, but really there's so much more to see in the entire hour long show:
I don't even know where to begin talking about this episode. I mean, obviously it was aimed at the huge Oprah Winfrey-TMNT crossover audience. Obviously! But how did a thing like this actually come to be?
It's ostensibly to promote the Turtles' Coming Out of Their Shells album and live performance tour, but how did Winfrey get roped into this? By this point in 1990, her show had already been on for four years and was a huge success. I realize that booking guests for a daily one-hour talk show isn't the easiest task in the world, but come on! Surely, there had to be a better idea than getting Winfrey to dance onstage with a bunch of guys in solid foam turtle masks.
All that said, this show is way less of an affront to the TMNT legacy than the new Michael Bay version. By a large margin.
* Interesting side-note: We'll never know if April ever did fulfill the the Turtles' dream of a zoological fivesome, but Sherie Rene Scott, the actress who played her on this show, did go on to star in the Off-Broadway musical adaptation of Debbie Does Dallas. Use that information for whatever salacious reasons you deem fit.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)