We know you rewatched Game of Thrones with that cable whore. That was OUR show.
As with most exes, it's the email simply titled "Hey" where things start to get seriously unhinged. We understand a company wanting to make a last-ditch attempt to offer a deal to make up for all their overcharging in the past, but once someone has moved on to a new service provider, you should respect that. Sure, you can send emails every once in a while to let your former customer know how you're doing, announce the birth of new channels, and maybe subtly hint that you are much better at responding to customers' more... shall we say "porny" demands. But Jesus, DirecTV, let them come back to you. You just look like a creep.