There's no shame in not knowing how to do something properly—life doesn't come with a manual (but it should, dammit). Okay, there might be a little shame in spelling your own name wrong, but look, we're not here to judge. Over on Reddit, people shared the things they learned they had been doing wrong their whole lives. Read on and you just might learn something.
1. Turbo442 had a little trouble with his pronunciation.
For the longest time I thought 'bass' on the stero was pronounced like 'bass' the fish.
'Crank up the bass on the radio would ya!'
Followed by weird looks.
2. It's too late for Kertneneney to change now.
I write my print capital J's backwards. Nobody pointed it out to me until AFTER I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL.
It's too late for me to go back. This is my life now.
3. Slowshot's realization blew my mind and yet, was so very simple.
The knives in your silverware drawer. The ones with the curved, serrated edge for cutting soft meats, veggies etc. Well I used that curved edge to try and spread butter or peanut butter or mayo or jelly on my bread. Then one day, at the age of 60, I realized, the straight edge on the top of the knife worked a whole lot better for spreading. DUH!
4. The number of women (myself included) who've been doing the same thing wrong as Sparkles_Tangerine all these years is staggering.
Bobby pins. I've been using then upside down according to Pinterest.
5. CellarDoorAesthetic's error was dumb but adorable.
I'm 24 years old, I've always called "grilled cheese" a "girl cheese."
I learned it was called a grilled cheese a few months ago. IT JUST NEVER CAME UP.
6. Smallishbeans had a little trouble with the products in the shower.
For about 19 years of my life, I always thought you put Conditioner on your hair, then shampoo afterwards. It wasn't until recently that I told my girlfriend that conditioner doesn't make my hair softer, when I told her what I was doing, she laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I felt like such an idiot.
7. Colleoni had a different problem with the shower, until making a miraculous discovery.
You can turn the shower on before you get in it. I would turn the water on, then get in the shower, turn the nozzle to activate the shower and jump back to try (and usually fail) to avoid a blast of cold water which was quite unpleasant early in the morning. My family looked at me like I was an idiot when I finally figured it out at 21.
8. Papercutkid's wife was coming across a little too friendly.
My wife, whose first language isn't English, signed off every letter or email she wrote in English with "Love ..." until last year. Most of them were work-related. She's 35.
9. RobbosmasH had a truly life-changing revelation.
When I would take a crap, i would sit on the bowl. I thought the seat was only for girls. I only started using the seat after my buddies were talking about a particularly comfy toilet seat their mom bought. I asked why they sat on the seat, and they in turn asked "You don't?" that was when i realized what I been missing for 18 years.
10. Flitwick is certainly not the only person to make this air-ror.
Saying not exactly doing but I used to say "Air on the side of caution" till my boyfriend asked me if I was saying air instead of err. And I said well duh obviously it's air.
I saw a small bit of his love for me die in his eyes
How to properly remove food from an oven. I always thought the removable trays were to adjust height, not to pull food out too so you don't burn your forearms. I'm 30.....
...I fix ovens and I just realized this.
12. Darthstupidious didn't know how to spell a common name, which is fine. It was his own name, though, which is slightly less fine.
Honestly, I spelled my name wrong for years, close to two decades.
My name is Micheal, not Michael, the usual common spelling. Since birth, my friends and family have always called me Mikey and/or Mike, and that was what I always wrote on forms.
Up until I was ~18, I had always just written down either of those two names, and when applying for jobs, I wrote down "Michael" because it was the common spelling of the name. I didn't want to double-check with one of my parents and admit that I didn't know how to spell my name, but it wasn't until a few years ago, when I got my actual birth certificate, that I realized I had been spelling it wrong on documents for years.
So my driver's license, my ID cards, my debit card, everything: it all says "Michael" and not "Micheal." My life has been a lie.
EDIT: Just to let you all know, since I'm getting a lot of replies... my name IS supposed to be spelled like that, "Micheal." I posted in another comment that I come from Irish ancestry, and that was the name of a distant relative, but my family just never told me the story behind it. It is spelled "Micheal" on my birth certificate and SS card, so it's my legal name, it was just an embarrassing glitch in the matrix of my life in which no one outright told me my name was spelled differently until I was older. I have confirmed it with my parents, who told me my name was spelled the Irish way on purpose, and not a typo, as many of you vindictive Redditors have suggested.
13. Lo-fi_kid had the same problem, but at least his name is a little more complicated.
Spelling my middle name. I have been writing "Tyberious" for most of life but recently confirmed that it was "Tyberius"
14. Recommendable had probably just watched too many commercials.
For 6 years I used fabric softener as laundry detergent. I never bothered to read the bottle in its entirety, loved the smell, and appreciated the convenient bottle size when walking to the laundry mat.
15. At least skeptically_quixotic finally figured it out.
Opening a new deodorant. Until last year I would struggle to pry the plastic piece out with force. I didn't realize you could just crank the stick up until the protector cap came off easily. I hate myself a little bit for this.
16. Pachewychomp's mistake still has me laughing.
I once asked my parents: "If all chickens have feathers, how do the farmers know which ones have dark meat and which ones have light meat?"
I was 29.
17. Imagine how much happier weemadghostie was after this realization.
I wore a uk size 4 shoe for about 10 years until someone pointed out they looked too big for me. Turns out I am a uk size 2. I just thought shoes were meant to be roomy.
18. BrentonTheBadger had to school his girlfriend on something very…uh…intimate.
Ex girlfriend put tampons in the wrong way. She said she preferred the cardboard ones to the plastic ones which confused me.. Then I realized she was putting the whole applicator up there and just left it there.. I had to explain to a 21 year old woman how to use a tampon
19. Typing was a little harder for LunaTokyo than for most of us.
When I learned that you don't need to hold down both shift buttons to type a capital letter.
20. Conspiracie's only been doing this wrong 20 years. I'm sure it's fine.
I spent my whole life covering food with cling wrap before putting it in the microwave until one time I reheated food for my girlfriend and she was all "the fuck are you doing you're gonna give us cancer."
Lo and behold, it says right on the cling wrap box that you're not supposed to do that. At least I only have twenty years of cling wrap carcinogens in my system.
21. Palaxion's mistake was not an unreasonable one, just a bit strange.
Saying "quote on quote" instead of "quote unquote."
22. It took vectran a while to learn one big difference between snowboarding and surfing, and no, it wasn't the state of the water.
I grew up at a ski resort and was very familiar with waxing boards and skis. I went to the ocean one summer and bought a skim board the the lady grabbed a bar of wax and tossed it in as if I should have known to buy it. Feeling dumb I bought the wax and went to the beach, covering the bottom of the board in wax. I did this every summer until recently when I moved to CA and started surfing. One day I set the surfboard down and grabbed the skim board when suddenly I realized I had been applying wax to the wrong side for years.
23. Okay, InternetProp's ideas about how elevator buttons worked are just mind-boggling.
I was embarrassingly old when I realized that you push the elevator button for the direction you want to go.
I thought you should push the direction the elevator should move to get to you. And though it was a really stupid system since I had to guess where it was.
And I'm not talking 5 or 10. I was maybe 15 before my brain caught up with the elevator.
24. Pytheastic learned about spaghetti the hard way.
When I picked up my knife to cut spaghetti at my first dinner with my Italian in-laws.
Everyone dropped their fork and stared at me.
25. Minpinerd also learned something useful about spaghetti.
The day that I didn't have any clean plates and had to put my spaghetti in a bowl.
My god it is so much easier to eat spaghetti out of a bowl.
26. Turns out I've been making the same mistake as aubreythez my whole life, too.
Today I learned that the word "segue" is pronounced "segway."
I thought it was pronounced "se-goo," and that "segway" was a different word that meant the same thing (in addition to being the name of a dorky-looking vehicle). I don't think I ever actually really used my incorrect pronunciation in a conversation, so I was never called out on it. I only figured it out because I was watching Netflix with subtitles.
I'm 21 and I thought the "learning you were wrong about word pronunciation" phase was over.
27. Deegeecoo's mistake is just plain funny.
I've been singing Prince's song - Raspberry Beret thinking it was Raspberry Buffet.
I've been singing this for years and always pictured what a buffet of raspberries would look like. (It looks good) Nobody ever corrected me.
28. Mittribberts probably should have figured this one out earlier. Just saying.
When I was 21 I realized that when I sat down to take a shit I could dangle my penis down and pee as I was shitting. Before that I would stand to piss and then I would sit down to shit.
Edit: Thanks for the gold stranger! I'm 26 now and have been using the toilet properly for the last 5 years.
29. Hey, as mbingham666 now knows, you live and you learn.
When I first learned to masturbate at 10, i used a squeezing technique...like i was trying to squeeze a banana out the end...no hand movement...All i knew was that it felt good-ish and it worked...
Eventually i'd orgasm, after like 20-30 mins., but it hurt like hell by the end. Sometimes I'd have to take a day or two inbetween because of bruising...
Then after months of doing this, I'm on the playground and a kid makes the 'jacking-off' back and forth motion while calling a kid a jack-off...
It was like a AAAAH moment...the heavens parted, I put two and two together....and I could not wait to get home and try out my glorious discovery...
Needless to say, my masturbatory sessions were a lot shorter and a LOT less painful....