In retrospect, the Fellowship of the Ring should have had matching vests with Frodo.
When I started writing this post, there were just three guys. Since then, more and more people (literally, one more and then another one) discovered that they had received the same immaculately terrible Noah's Ark-themed vest from their grandmother. Either there's a granny out there with a bunch of secret families who didn't realize the Internet would be the undoing of her web of lies, or this is the future of bad grandma gifting. It started with this dude, who wrote, "My 90-year old grandma mailed a homemade vest for me to "wear to parties". It's...amazing." He wasn't wrong.
Noah's Ark was kind of a party. Where everyone else on Earth died... WOO! (via)
Almost immediately, he was challenged in the comments.
Shots, as they say, had been fired. The photo evidence was undeniable.
There's not room on this ark for both of you...because you need to reproduce. (via)
But wait! There's more! This guy followed up with proof that he had actually worn the thing to a party, and also worried that they all had the same grandma.
These terrible holiday sweaters are staying strictly Old Testament, I see. (via)
Understandably, someone decided "you guys deserved a group photo."
We came here to do two things: to wear vests and thank our grandmas, and we're all out of thank you notes. (via)
As beautiful as this awful folk album cover was, the Internet realized it had neglected to include the women who had been gifted this abomination of crafting, including this red-haired recipient of the vest who must be about a foot taller than all these guys (unless the vest shrank a lot in the wash). To be fair, she got left out because she only posted the image to imgur, which is something people apparently do.
All in all, it's a pretty good-looking bunch. (via)
There was one other woman who received the vest, but she doesn't end up in the photo for the simple reason that she refused to put it on and instead forced her husband to wear it.
"So...I have to wear this...because the Internet demands it?" (via)
Internet sleuths eventually determined that there is a kit you can buy on eBay (now sold out) to make this vest. I still think it might just be one grandmother, however. The odds that multiple individuals were so out of touch with "the kids" that they independently decided to do this... no, it must be a woman who's been juggling a bunch of men and somehow birthing secret families for decades. It's really the only explanation.
Kinda hoped you'd be able to mix and match animals. Maybe next year.
(by Johnny McNulty)