Everyone tells little white lies from time time (right? RIGHT!?), but sometimes lies are so big that they really could ruin your life if they got out. Well, maybe not ruin it altogether, but lies that are bigger than, say, "I cheated on my fourth grade spelling test." (I didn't.) These are serious lies that could have major repercussions. Here are 12 people who took to Reddit to anonymously share the lies that they'd do anything to keep secret forever.
1. SloppyFloppyFlapjack's extra-curricular activities paid for college.
I made about 50 grand filming porn. Paid for college and haven't gone back to it. Would almost consider it as a fallback, but if it got out it would royally fuck up my current career. Thankfully this was from a day and age when pseudonyms actually kept people anonymous.
2. TastyDuck completely faked an entire job.
More seriously, I worked at a giant company as a picker. I discovered that through an easy exploit, I could pick 2-3 items an hour and still hit 'curve'. Because everyone there is an idiot, they never questioned it and I was eventually promoted.
The position after that had me training hundreds of people in the warehouses. I discovered that my predecssor did shit all and didn't do paperwork for anyone. I made the mistake of telling my boss so the job of fixing 7 years of missing paperwork fell on me. Discovering it was a project destined to fail and hating the company, I made up hundreds of fake paperwork and filed them/entered them into the system.
Again, because where I worked everyone is an idiot, no one noticed for the 3 years I worked at the company despite much of it not making any sense (some of the names are signed "HAHAHA FUCK YOU I HATE THIS PLACE". I got further promotions for my 'productivity and did the same thing across multiple facilities.
By my estimate, roughly 30-40% of the company's Canadian records are obvious BS, yet I was never fired or found out.
3. Throwitinthegarbage3 doesn't want his family to know something that's kind of a big deal.
Everyone (including my family) thinks I went to a top 20 college. In reality, I failed out of community college. I work in Silicon Valley, managed to work my way up to a Director of Operations position. No idea what would happen if it ever came out.
I abhor my wife's cooking. I eat it and tell her how good she did, but often it turns my stomach.
5. Portarossa paid off some loans with a little writing.
I paid off my student loans writing smut -- and I mean real smut. Kinky, fetishy, no-plot strokebooks. I loved every last second of it.
Then I switched to writing mostly-wholesome romances under a new pen name. I doubt very much that my readers would enjoy the crossover, although who knows?
6. MrSpradley took a little bit more than petty cash from his job.
I managed to steal approx $350000 over the course of several years and never got caught. Nobody ever knew because nobody really lost anything.
And it would be impossible to prove unless I confessed, and even then, no crime was ever reported so I'm not sure if they could even prosecute.
But if it got out, it would cause a lot of problems.
When asked for more details, MrSpradley elaborated:
Without giving too much away, I used to run bars somewhere, and I was very good at it. To the point I could turn things around greatly.
So I would only apply to manage failing bars as I had a great history of sorting them out. I would always manage to increase sales and customers and the owners would get (generally) considerable increase in sales. They just didn't get all that they would have, I would skim some off for me.
I would never be too greedy, as it's greed that is the downfall of all those people that end up in prison. I deliberately never saved the money up to buy things just for myself, I preferred to 'spread the wealth' and would always take my friends out and pay, give little anonymous donations to people that needed it, and generally frittered the money away. It was my kind of justification, and probably to make myself not feel so bad for what I had done.
The owners were always happy as sales had increased, my mates were happy, and I was happy because it kept my brain active more in an otherwise un-taxing (mind wise) job.
7. Confessionsofsomeguy has a big decision to make.
I'm falling for the girl that I made this account to make a comment about and I am pretty sure she is falling for me.
As I said in my comment a while ago, she is one of my girlfriend's best friends, in her most treasured group of friends, who have known each other for longer than the 7 years we've been together, and my wedding is in 6 months.
I would not cheat. I know there are two options, resist temptation or cancel the wedding and leave my fiancee/significant other of 7 years, who I love. I don't see the latter as an option, but it's giving me severe cold feet.
8. Avilsta isn't the most social of people.
I hate 60% of the people in my life. Some days, the masquerade isn't as blatant. Or I just act all sarcastic with it. So whenever old friends message me "oh it's been so long since we've met!" - part of me is like "yea, I know. That's the plan."
But I love a good 20% though. Those I would do almost anything for.
9. DAM5150 is so very not alone.
I have no clue what i'm doing and am anxious 99% of the time.
10. RockyMtnRivulets has made some poor dating choices.
Slept with someone I shouldn't have. Dated them for 2 years secretly. Then cheated on them with someone who was an even worse choice and also had to remain a secret.
11. Draugves is having a true crisis of faith.
I no longer believe in my religion and my family and extended family are insanely integrated into it to the point that I would be shunned and disowned for following "anti lies" and leaving the church.
12. ThatLamePumpkin is what some people call a "homewrecker." Yikes.
My (no longer) best friend broke up with his girlfriend (they were together for 4-5 years and were already engaged) because of me. People admire their relationship so I’ll be super screwed if anyone finds out.