Just when you thought #covfefegate had officially killed the internet, there's a new bae in town to save us all. He's no Salt Bae, the viral hunk who won our hearts with his erotic meat preparation. But he's just as hot, and less likely to lead to bloating from all that sodium.
His name, not the one on his birth certificate, but the more important one that we shall call him in our fantasies, is "Tree Man." And it fits him to a t(r)ee.
"Tree man," nee Danny Jones, is 6'7", 265 pounds of pure muscle (we can't confirm but can assume) and a diet and fitness trainer.
He was recently discovered by someone who goes by "la loba" on Twitter. So please direct all of your thank you's to her.