Hey you booze hounds, could you describe the "drunkest you've ever been" in six words? This was the challenge Vice Magazine posed to their Twitter followers yesterday. And Holy Jagermeister, Twitter delivered.

Some of the responses were innocent enough, like this one:

If you count throwing up in an avocado salad as "innocent" (it's really not if you think about the cost of avocados). Luckily, this story ended quite well for everyone involved (except those poor avocados).


This one is kind of funny until you think of that dry Mexican village:

This sounds terrifying:



Compared to the train, this actually seems pretty tame:

She lost.


Here's a PSA. If you're going to fight with an inanimate object while drunk, adopt this guy's approach:

Of course, some of these replies got really dark. Because when excessive alcohol is involved, things are going to get too real.

Like, body parts may go missing, but then return:

The receipts:


This is almost poetic:

Don't worry Peggy, we've all been there! Okay actually, we've never been there. But we're glad you're okay.

This person used way more than six words and we'll let them have that:


We are just glad you can laugh about this now. Also wth is a hand grenade (never mind don't want to know).

We are glad this person is okay, too:

Also, how did this happen?? Do we really want to know? Nah.

Not sure we want to know about this one, either:

This sounds pretty normal tbh:


This does not sound normal:

Neither does this:

(We want to be this woman's best friend. We also hope she has since quit drinking.)



What??? And where—can we get one?

More heroic tales:

What does he mean by "slept with" exactly? Either way, hero.

Also a hero.

Wow, people of Twitter. You sure have led some colorful (read: "drunken") lives.


The author of this post once woke up in bed next to a traffic cone—so absolutely no judgment here. Just deep concern, for all of us.