The holiday are coming and you know what that means —
stress PRESENTS. Presents are pretty exciting, except when they turn out to be awful. And some people really do give awful presents, as these people on Reddit can testify. Whether it was receiving a gift they'd already given the giver, or something expired or broken, or something that screams, "Yes, this is an object!" these people all got some pretty crappy gifts in their lives. You've probably been there, too, for who among us has not received socks when we were hoping for something good (i.e. NOT socks)?
1. TehScrumpy's gift wasn't terrible, just his father. (KIDDING!)
I went on a cruise in the Caribbean and brought my Dad back a bottle of spice rum with the spices in the bottle.
A couple of months later, my dad regifted me the exact same bottle for my birthday. He gave me this whole schpiel about where he found it and how special it was. I waited until he was done to remind him where he actually got it.
2. VictorBlimpmuscle's ex-wife's grandmother was a "batteries not included" kind of gal.
My ex-wife's grandmother once gave this little toy video slot machine game that she got from the dollar store, because she knew "I liked playing all them video games". When she handed it to me, and before I opened it, her words were, "Merry Christmas, you'll have to buy your own batteries for it."
3. Okay, but three, PK_Thundah?
When I was 11 or 12 I got 3 separate cheap travel shaving kits from one Christmas gathering. I didn't have any facial hair or anything.
So the third one was my worst gift ever.
4. Sean12349's aunt is SO CLOSE to getting it right.
I told my aunt that I liked Jack Daniels and instead of buying me a bottle of it like most people, for 3 years straight at Christmas, I've had Jack Daniels related presents and they're all as bad as each other. The first year I was given a Jack Daniels lamp. Well when I say lamp, it was an empty Jack Daniels bottle with fairy lights inside. The second year I was given yet another empty Jack Daniels bottle with glitter and water inside which I had no idea what to do with. Last year I got a pair of Jack Daniels sunglasses which broke within a week. Fingers crossed I actually get a bottle with Jack Daniels in it this year.
5. Secret Santas can be a real bitch, as cweber56 (and many others in this list) sadly found out.
For a secret Santa I received two of those free promotional tickets to the science museum that had already expired.
6. At least one of the TheRealGunn's gifts was somewhat useful. Sort of.
It's a toss up between two gifts I've received from my in-laws.
A sheathe for a pocket knife, with no knife.
A single piece of Tupperware.
7. Tall_where_it_counts' brother got a gift that he couldn't use except by borrowing Tall's favorite item. That's not…great.
When I was about 12 years old, I mowed lawns to earn a bit of money for myself, and I spent many months saving up to buy a gameboy advance. I loved this thing, and I played it incessantly for hours every day. Two months later, on my little brother's birthday, they bought him a gameboy advance game- just the game cartridge. He didn't have a gameboy. Needless to say, I was frustrated, because this meant that I was forced to share my gameboy with him, and when I was visibly salty about it, my parents told me to stop being selfish. It's not that I didn't want to share with my brother, but it was shitty that they bought him a gift that he could not use without borrowing my prized possession, and when I expressed my annoyance, they made me feel guilty about it.
8. PruTech is not the only one to get burned by grammar school gift exchanges.
At our Holiday gift exchange in 2nd grade, I got a used Halloween magazine. All pages colored, crosswords and puzzles done. I had my mum out shopping the previous Saturday for cool Hot Wheels and a nice Barbie for the 2 lucky kids who got my gifts.
9. The ol' Gendered Presents thing meant BufferingAdult got screwed over.
Socks and a skirt, as I then turned to see my brother open his remote controlled spy car.
10. Bonniejane1699's grandma gave bad gifts, but at least she had a sense of humor (or was totally crazy).
My husband got 2 rolls of pennies from my Grandma for Christmas That same year she gave my mom, a non smoker, a tin of tobacco. When my mom complained she gave her a calendar that was 3 years old. My son got a hair brush wrapped in a Pringles can, he was 2 and cried because he really wanted the chips...haha. I hit the Jack pot, I got a bottle of vodka. She always gave us weird gifts it was her thing. Now that she's gone I miss seeing what Christmas gifts she would be bringing. It was a good laugh.
11. Notreallypolitical's gift was maybe not suited for an 8-year-old.
In a fourth grade secret santa, I got a gold bottle opener with a little umbrella over the opener. I was like, yeah, now my beer won't spray on me. Just what every eight year old needs.
12. Lonelybitch dealt with getting the dreaded pinecone by making it into a private joke with friends.
A pinecone from a family member. It now gets passed between me and my friends as a gag gift.
13. The_Brain_Fuckler's gift was so bad it was almost good.
A rubber Hulk Hogan figurine (it looked like it was a Christmas ornament with the loop snipped off) glued to a very effeminate toy horse. An elderly friend of the family gave it to me and wouldn't stop mentioning how "they are supposed to look like that; that's how it came from the store" even though I didn't voice any doubts.
It's also kind of the best gift I ever got.
14. SquatChick315's took revenge on her bad gift-giver.
Expired chocolate, on Christmas, from an aunt who was a chronic regifter, yet always expected expensive, top notch gifts for her children on Christmas and their birthdays.
Not only was the chocolate expired, but it was also evident that it had melted completely and resolidified. When I noticed, I went up to her with "OMG this chocolate is soooo good, you have to try it!" Infront of the whole family. I watched her unwrap a piece of chocolate and when she noticed how it looked, she was hesitant to eat it. When she looked at me, I just had a smile on my face "It's the best chocolate ever!". And then I watched her slowly bring it to her mouth and try to eat it. She quickly walked to the kitchen immediately afterwards.
I think I've only seen her once since that moment almost 9 years ago.
15. 12INCHVOICES' found out both his mother and Santa Claus were really bad at gift-giving.
At Christmas I once unwrapped a box of yellow #2 pencils. I must have looked a little disappointed because my mom told me to just wait and I'd see why Santa had brought them.
...It was because he also got me an electric pencil sharpener.
16. All right, this gift received by Thewrongbakedpotato is terrible, but also pretty funny.
A ziploc bag filled with cotton balls with the words "ghost poos" written on the bag in sharpie.
17. Cosmic_boredom got a little of everything that was basically a whole bunch of nothing.
One year, I got a present wrapped in newspaper. It was a wooden box spray-painted gold. However, the paint was still wet, which I know because I got gold paint all over my hands. Inside was the following: A bunch of change (mostly pennies), a handful of potpourri, a sample deodorant, a book of crossword puzzles (half of which were completed), a disposable ballpoint pen, a disposable razor, and a travel pack of tissues that was half empty.
18. BloodChicken's present wasn't the worst—until his father got ahold of it.
The only present I got for a christmas was a little light-up ball. You put your finger on the two metal tabs (or you and someone else, while holding other hands) and the ball lights up.
It wasn't awful but it was underwhelming. After I had figured out what it was and how it worked and trying it with a few people, dad asks me if he can have a try and so I say sure. I pass him the ball and he immediately throws it on the ground, hard enough to break it.
"I thought it was a bouncy ball!"
19. Everyone1hatesme's mother-in-law gave her a present that was both used AND inappropriate.
MIL gave my 1 year old daughter her dead dog's bed as a Christmas present. She said it was for my daughter's naps.
20. Christinagleas' grandmother thought she, a 7-year-old, loved to clean for real. Um.
When I was a wee 7 years old, my grandmother placed a long skinny box with my name on it under the Christmas tree about a week before the holiday. For the next 7 days, my small self drooled over the idea of a play baby stroller folded up in that box, just waiting to be filled with various stuffed animals.
On that magical morning, I ripped the box open only to discover it was a VACUUM CLEANER. Not a toy one, either. A real life, serious, small vacuum cleaner.
She claimed that she thought it was a great idea because "I loved cleaning when I visited her house."
That's because you're basically a hoarder and your house is disgusting, Granny.
21. Saturatedscruffy's brother had the brilliant idea of giving her her own stuff.
My brother went into my room and wrapped up a few articles of clothing from my dresser and a necklace from my closet. He did this three years in a row. The following year I gave him a giant bag that I put a couple of his weights in with a single tootsie roll. He almost cried because he thought I got him some really huge expensive thing.
22. Picklefingers69's brother gave him a gift that would be better suited for a child, or just maybe no one at all.
My brother gave me a hand turkey that he drew minutes earlier for Christmas.
This would have been ok if he was 5 or something... He was 21 years old.
I framed it and gifted it back to him the next year.
23. Wienerwrld's husband got him a somewhat foreboding gift.
For my husband's 50th birthday, his parents gifted him the deed to his own cemetery plot (one for me, too!). An expensive, but poorly timed gift.
24. For MizSanguine, it was the end of the innocence.
Brother got a pocket knife in a small cylinder package (old toilet paper roll) wrapped like candy. Excited, I started unwrapping mine that looked similar.
Underwear. All of it underwear.
And once a bathroom faucet. That is when I knew Childhood was over.