23 people share the worst thing they ever saw happen at a wedding. Blame the open bar.
Some weddings can seem like a great idea, until they're actually happening. After all, gathering together all your friends and family with vastly different world views in a confined space and providing them with the never-ending supply of liquor that is the free open bar—what could possibly go wrong, right? Oh, just about everything, as these stories from Reddit illustrate. Here's a pretty funny (and occasionally horrifying) compilation of stories of the worst things people have ever seen happen at weddings.
[Quick aside—weddings involve a surprising number of heart attacks. It must be all the excitement—or just all the elderly people.]
1. Drinking can make things confusing. (Bo_Shuda)
At a cousin's wedding my uncle was smashed and thought he'd had a stroke in the bathroom as he couldn't straighten himself. Turned out he'd buttoned his waistcoat to his trousers and couldn't stand up.
2. A whole wedding gets stolen in a matter of minutes. (KeevanGoliath)
During the best man speech, the best man proposed to the maid of honor. Totally stole the night from the bride and groom. Now the best man and maid of honor are in the process of divorcing.
3. This wedding probably could have been planned a little better. (jlmccuan)
After arriving 45 minutes after the ceremony was to begin, during the ring exchange, the groom gets this blank look and says he didn't know he was supposed to buy her another ring. SIL slipped off her wedding band and handed it off to the preacher.
4. Maybe dude should just propose? Seems easier. (xjrob85)
For the bouquet toss, a middle-aged guy forced his middle-aged girlfriend out onto the floor, then stood by her so she couldn't leave. The bouquet was caught by an excited little girl. The guy proceeded to yank the bouquet out of the little girl's hands, gave it to his middle-aged girlfriend, then ran off the floor cheering loudly to high-five one of his buddies. The little girl ran away crying.
5. It's horrible to laugh, but people falling slowly is always so funny. (mushinnoshit)
At my own wedding reception, I saw my wife's grandma, who was about 98, very slowly and with a terrible sense of inevitability fall sideways off her chair. She remained in a sitting position but just slooowly tilted sideways til she was on the floor, still in the exact same pose.
It sounds shitty but all I could think was "fucksake don't die at our wedding please don't die at our wedding"
Luckily she was fine, and lived for another few years to see her 100th birthday.
6. It's a good idea to get the groom's name right, whenever possible. (SparkyBoy414)
During the "Man of Honor" speech, the guy repeatedly said the name of the bride's ex instead of her new husband. Three times. "When I first saw [Bride] and [Bride's ex], I knew they were perfect for each other". Stuff like that. And he caught himself, too, every time. He was insanely embarrassed... but he still did it three times throughout the speech.
It was so awkward watching it happen... probably the biggest social trainwreck I've ever seen.
Edit: Since people keep asking, yes, it was the "Man of Honor"... like a maid of honor, except a guy. There was also still a best man.
7. It's all well and fine until teeth get involved. (PM-ME-ELEPHANT-JOKES)
Bride's step-mother and mother got into a fight. Step-mother bit the mother. Wedding went to a screeching halt.
8. Gift no longer required. (onejoke_username)
At the reception, the bride received a tip to go out to the parking lot where she found her new husband making out with his ex gf. The ensuing fight came inside the hall and the party screeched to a halt. Both families were displeased and stuck him with ALOT of bills. We kept our gift.
9. Some families have a flair for the dramatic. (InsectGuru)
The bride's mother stood up during the ceremony and began screaming that the bride was a lying whore who never loved her mother.
10. Ah, the open bar. Your best friend, your worst enemy. (cjbeck71081)
I worked weddings for a living and once saw the best man get loaded, give a speech, and profess his love of the bride and how they had slept together two nights before. Open bar: 1, best man: 0
11. Maintaining control of your body is not always as easy as it seems. (keilwerth)
Nervous groom stood with his legs straight for too long. Fell forward and knocked himself out cold hitting the first step to the platform with his head.
12. A wedding speech seems like the perfect time and place for these types of conversations, no? (Vadersballhair)
Divorced father of the groom started up about how much better his new wife was compared to his old wife, during his speech.
On and on and the qualities of Asian women vs white women.
I've never looked at my shoes so hard in my life.
13. Of course it had to be red. (3Suze)
I was an attendant in my best friend's wedding. Her father walked her down the aisle and while he was not visibly drunk, he had a hard time walking behind her to sit in the pew. He stepped on her dress ripping it from her back down to her ass (her thong was red). They had to stop the wedding so that she could find safety pins.
14. The speech wasn't just a car wreck, it was also about a car wreck. (haveagreatsummerHAGS)
Was at a wedding this summer. The groom's family absolutely tore their son/brother apart during the speeches. They didn't say one loving thing, and went on to talk about all the mistakes he made during this life. The worst thing they brought up was how he was responsible for a car accident that put someone in a coma. I was cringing.
Edit: Oh and one more travesty: dinner wasn't served until 10 p.m.
15. The most brutal burn in wedding history. Along with this one. (never_stirred)
Bride walked the walk before the dude outed her for blowing the best man the week before and he had it on nanny cam for those wanting proof.
16. Imagine going this far just to get all the attention. (Idrinknailpolish)
My cousin’s wedding, she’s second of 3 sisters. The eldest sister is a bit of an attention whore and drama queen. The wedding is beautiful, just absolutely amazing. The bride cousin is the first to be married, and this is clearly bothering the older cousin. The older cousin was also known to be very sexually active with random mates. So, the day before the wedding, the older cousin (who’s then single and unattached) comes up to me and says, “Don’t tell anyone but, I’m pregnant!” So, I naturally tell my brother-in-law and sister immediately and they tell me she already told them. We validated this with multiple other attendees. She’d gone around and told what seemed like everyone.
Fast forward to the day of the wedding, the bride cousin is pissed because she’s now caught wind of the fact that the older sister is going around telling people she’s pregnant. It finally came to a head after the ceremony. The older sister (who was a known drinker) gave a toast and started it with, “I WISH i could be having a proper drink right now...ooops. Well, yeah, I’m pregnant hahaha.” The bride cousin just sat there wide eyed while everyone halfheartedly clapped for the pregnant cousin.
tl;dr: Older cousin is jealous of younger cousin getting married, intentionally gets pregnant for attention and announces it at her sister’s wedding.
17. Wedding crashers come in all forms. (MangeStrusic)
There was this guy outside of the hotel walking up to groups of people in the smoking area, asking how much each person weighed. He was very overweight himself, and his jeans looked to be on inside out. He was severely underdressed for the occasion, and no one seemed to know him. Anyways, he would ask a persons weight, and then exclaim "I can bench that!". Until one guy (I think he was a family member of the bride) got into an argument with him and started asking around if anyone knew this person, figuring that he was a wedding crasher. That's when this gentleman decided to cut a deal with everyone. "If I can pick up that bench with my bare hands, can I stay for the party?" To which everyone agrees, because the bench was clearly bolted to the ground. So, he walks over, puts his hands on the bench, crouches down, and with all of his might... shits his pants in front of everyone. He stood up and waddled off through the parking lot to never be seen again. I did hear throughout the night people talking about a guy who was on shrooms outside, trying to lift a bench. So, I guess he was also tripping balls.
18. Ok, this is just adorable. This is the opposite of "worst." But too cute not to include. (Caelab456)
My husband and I got the screaming giggles during the vows, and accidentally whacked our heads together.
19. The comedic power of the projectile vomit. (theorangepanda99)
There was like an 8 year old boy who had loads of confetti in his hand so I didn't think much of it, turns out he thought it was sugar paper and ate all of, he then proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere through the middle of the ceremony. Was one of the funniest and most disgusting moments of my life.
20. "Oh, did you want to sit down? That's odd." (tsim12345)
They didn’t have any tables or chairs.
We had nowhere to sit or to put our plates down. Everyone had to hold their food standing up and put their drinks down on the ground.
Since there were no chairs to make an aisle for her to walk down she just kind of strolled through the crowd while people were confused and talking.
“Where are the chairs?” was the theme of the wedding.
I was a close friend so our group sent me to ask her why there were no tables and chairs and she simply said “Oh you have to pay extra for that.”
????
Edit: This was NOT a casual outdoor quick wedding or anything like that. Traditional wedding. 5 hours total including ceremony. Full buffet and open bar. 200 guests. She was not caught off guard in any way. This is one of my closest friends. They decided not to pay for them. That’s it.
And since this is blowing up I may as well add in the tid- bit that during the speech portion people were talking and complaining so loudly (where are the chairs?? Am I supposed to sit on the ground??) that the groom took the mic and screamed at the top of his lungs for everyone to, and I quote: “shut up! I said shut up! Shut the hell up or leave now!” .. a lot of people left.
21. Some say she wanders those halls still. (RubyShyne)
One of my best friends weddings.....The groom got so drunk that he straight disappeared from the reception. Shit got real awkward when it was time for the wedding to be OVER. The venue was kicking us out and the bride and groom were supposed to take off in their vintage car and drive off to their honeymoon suite. The music went off, lights went on, and it turned into the guests searching for the damn groom. My husband finally found him in the parking lot basically face down on his lips. He helped him back into the wedding which was basically the most awkward walk of shame past the bride's glaring dad and grandfather. The groom was too drunk to drive brides grandfather drove them to the hotel suite (which was a 30 minute drive). My friend (the bride) later told me that when they got in the room, her new husband, passed out cold on the bed and she had to wander the halls in her wedding dress looking for someone to unhook her dress for her so she could get out of it. :-(
22. Well. This is just…awkward. (shanster925)
In lieu of the garter toss, My cousin's new husband washed her feet for an entire song at the reception. It was so weird and awkward and weird.
23. Worst thing…OR BEST THING? (rose-bradwardine)
Friend's wedding. The bride's nephew (about seven, I think?) was the ring bearer. Instead of sitting at the front after he made it down the aisle, he decided to do karate moves in front of (and sometimes behind) the couple during the entire ceremony. He's in almost all their photos.