•  

    I'd love to cook you the one thing I've learned how to make without ruining.

    I'd love to cook you the one thing I've learned how to make without ruining.

  •  

    I want to book a trip to the part of your body US Airways tweeted.

    I want to book a trip to the part of your body US Airways tweeted.

  •  

    I love you enough to irritate hundreds of people by expressing it on Facebook.

    I love you enough to irritate hundreds of people by expressing it on Facebook.

  •  

    Our genitalia should get back in touch.

    Our genitalia should get back in touch.

  •  

    I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

    I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

  •  

    Your Throwback Thursday photo is hot enough to get hit on by James Franco.

    Your Throwback Thursday photo is hot enough to get hit on by James Franco.

  •  

    Nothing gets me in the mood like knowing nearly every disgusting animal on the planet is having sex right now.

    Nothing gets me in the mood like knowing nearly every disgusting animal on the planet is having sex right now.

  •  

    I know we just met but I feel like I've known you since way back when I first began stalking you.

    I know we just met but I feel like I've known you since way back when I first began stalking you.

  •  

    Just curious if your refusal to participate in Throwback Thursday has anything to do with the authenticity of your breasts.

    Just curious if your refusal to participate in Throwback Thursday has anything to do with the authenticity of your breasts.

  •  

    You make me want to pretend to be a better man.

    You make me want to pretend to be a better man.

  •  

    You're even easier to enter than the new World Trade Center.

    You're even easier to enter than the new World Trade Center.

  •  

    We both look sexier without my glasses on.

    We both look sexier without my glasses on.

  •  

    This winter was particularly hard on my having to imagine what your cleavage looks like.

    This winter was particularly hard on my having to imagine what your cleavage looks like.

  •  

    Let's discuss the pros and cons of having kids over a relaxing meal we'd never have time for if we had kids.

    Let's discuss the pros and cons of having kids over a relaxing meal we'd never have time for if we had kids.

  •  

    I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

    I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

  •  

    There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.

    There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.

  •  

    I know you're very busy but I hope you have time to fit me into your body.

    I know you're very busy but I hope you have time to fit me into your body.

  •  

    I'm as obsessed with you as Rust Cohle is with finding an ungodly mask-wearing cult practicing ritual child sacrifice.

    I'm as obsessed with you as Rust Cohle is with finding an ungodly mask-wearing cult practicing ritual child sacrifice.

  •  

    Let's give up alcohol for Lent to see if we really like each other.

    Let's give up alcohol for Lent to see if we really like each other.

  •  

    Unlike Russia, I'll always be truthful about pulling out.

    Unlike Russia, I'll always be truthful about pulling out.

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