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Bride says she won't take day off for friend's wedding that's the 'same year' as hers.

Bride says she won't take day off for friend's wedding that's the 'same year' as hers.


We've heard of brides refusing to let guests show their tattoos, purple hair, or any accessory remotely resembling the color white, but what about a bride who can't handle attending another wedding during her wedding YEAR?

Stressing out about attending another wedding on the same day, week or even month is reasonable considering how much pressure there is on couples these days to plan the perfect day. Between booking vendors, juggling bachelor and bachelor parties, bridal showers, dress fittings and every other wedding-related appointment, it would be difficult to be in another wedding back-to-back.

The same year, though? When a frustrated bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her hopefully ex-friend's bridezilla moment, people were eager to deem a verdict.

AITA for planning to get married 3 months after my best friend?

My best friend of 12 years got engaged a year and a half ago and is getting married July 2023 and I will be a bridesmaid. I took off work to be there for her engagement because it was a very special moment for her and I am also taking time off to go to all her wedding festivities and her wedding. I work shift work and don’t get a lot of vacation, so many days I will be missing will be without pay.

I got engaged a month ago and we want to get married next year Oct 2023. We bought a house together last year and are excited to finally tie the knot! Before congratulating me on the engagement (which she never did anyways. The only thing she said to me was that she was shocked) she was talking to our friends saying she would be upset if we got married the same year as her.

She wants all the attention and everyone’s focus to be on her (I didn’t know this yet). We have different friends and there would be maybe 4 people attending both weddings.

Once our venue was booked, I told her we were going to get married Oct 2023 and how excited I was! I told I was excited that we could plan together and share ideas and vendors, and ultimately move into the next chapters of our lives together.

She immediately said that she can’t be a part of the planning for my wedding as she is very stressed out about her wedding. That’s fine, I get that. I told her not to worry about my wedding and that the only thing that’s important to me is that she’s standing beside me on my wedding day. She has since blocked me from all the planning for her wedding.

Yesterday I told her what day we will be getting married and she said she will be on call that day and since she started this new job she won’t be able to have her on-call shift switched with someone else. I thought this was ridiculous that with a year's notice, she isn’t able to have the day off.

She said she had made prior commitments and used vacation for those other commitments already. She is not going to put the effort in to try and make it to my wedding. I expressed how upset I was that she won’t be attending the biggest day of my life and she got mad at me for being upset.

She never directly told me that she didn’t want me to get married the same year, I heard it from a mutual friend. I think she is purposely making it so she doesn’t attend my wedding.

12 years of friendship is being flushed down the toilet because I want to get married the same year as her. Am I the as*hole?

Taking time off work for multiple wedding events is a pain, but doesn't this bride know her friend already did that for her wedding?

Sure, every bride dreams of being the center of attention for one day, but expecting your friends and family members to adjust their whole lives for an entire year because you're getting married is truly unhinged behavior.

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this 'Bride Wars'-level drama. Here's what people had to say:

murphy2345678 said:

NTA (Not the As*hole). It’s time to move on from bridezilla. Let her know you won’t be attending her wedding because a true friend wouldn’t treat a friend the way she is behaving. Then block her on everything.

Morrighu87 said:

NTA. You get a DAY when you get married. You can’t claim an entire freaking YEAR.

lumos_polaris said:

NTA. She’s not your best friend anymore. She’s a narcissistic as*hole. If you still want to try to mend the relationship, I’d suggest you have a very open and honest conversation with her. Ask her if she’s mad because you’re getting married in the same year. If she’s still an asshole after that then you have your answer.

And if she’s not making an effort for your wedding I don’t see why you should waste all your days on her wedding. If the conversation goes south, just cancel going to her wedding and use your days for yourself.

Your friend can’t claim a year for her wedding. Idk what gets into people with their weddings, but she needs to get her head out of her ass. You’re not even getting married in the same season. You’ll be having a fall wedding. She’s having a summer wedding. There is no overlap.

[deleted] said:

YWBTA to yourself if you don't withdraw from her wedding. 'I'm sorry. I thought we had a deeper friendship than we actually do, and it wouldn't be fair of me to take a bridesmaid spot away from someone you actually like.'

MistressLiliana said:

NTA. It is 3 months later, not the same weekend or even the same month. No one other than her will care about her wedding by then.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bride isn't at all wrong to plan a wedding in the same year as her former best friend, and she should in fact cancel all her plans to be involved in this selfish friend's wedding. If she can't return the favor and make the same sacrifices for her friend then that's a fairly weak foundation for a friendship. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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