Dad asks if he's wrong to deny all kids Halloween candy because of 1 diabetic.
Trick-or-Treating as a diabetic child means you might be the only one who appreciates the weird house that gives out toothbrushes instead of Reese's peanut butter pumpkins...
Just because a diabetic child can't chomp down candy all night like the other children doesn't mean they can't enjoy all the fun activities Halloween night has to offer. Dressing up, carving pumpkins, watching scary movies--Spooky Season is about more than just eating yourself into a hyper demon of fun-sized sugar treats. So, when a conflicted dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about his plan to accommodate his diabetic niece, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
WIBTA if I don't let the kids eat candy on Halloween?
My cousin's kid is diabetic. We're having a Halloween sleepover this year, and she was invited. My cousin (Cat) and her daughter (Diana) are excited, but Cat asked if we could have a rule that no candy gets eaten that night.
When Diana leaves in the morning, she'll leave her candy behind and the kids will have extra candy they can destroy November first.
I think this compromise is fair, and we can have diabetic snacks for the kids to eat at home that night. I also think waiting one night for their candy in exchange for a ton of extra candy is something the kids will be okay with. It might even be a good lesson on delayed gratification.
My wife is strongly against the idea. She said if Diana can't handle watching other people eat candy she should just go home after trick or treating. I think that's mean. My wife said her sister's kid will throw a fit if she doesn't get her candy that night, and there's no way her sister will agree to the plan.
I say we ask her before we assume. Diana is five, and my SIL's daughter is eight, so I think it's fair to expect slightly more maturity from the older child. My wife said we aren't asking her sister, because the plan is dumb.
I think I'll ask her anyway, and talk to our kids and my sister's kids as well and see how everyone feels, because I think my wife is being dramatic. It's just candy, and a little flexibility never hurt anyone.
This could be a good teaching moment for the other children, but it's also a little unfair to deny everyone the main prize just because of one child.
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this Halloween drama. Here's what people had to say:
Substantial-Fox-4905 said:
NAH. both sides have valid points (although your wife is acting less maturely about it). Making all the kids not eat candy because one child can't have the same stuff isn't fair and the world does not revolve around Diana.
Cat needs to learn this fast. Can't you get diabetic candy so she can go trick or treating and then come back and eat the diabetic stuff? Whilst the other kids eat their actual candy? I'm assuming the kids won't be eating THAT much candy right before a sleepover anyway right?
ariesgal11 said:
Idk I’m going with a YTA (You're the As*hole). Is Cat going to make sure every event Diana goes to no other kids have sugar? What happens when Diana has a birthday party to go to? Is she going to request there’s no cake or other sweets? I feel like this is teaching this child that everyone is going to cater to their needs.
Diana is diabetic, not the other kids why should they have to change normal Halloween expectations for someone else’s health needs? Cat can provide sugar free snacks for Diana, the other kids shouldn’t be forced to have them too, to appease her
oofmagoof123 said:
YTA. I agree completely with your wife that if her daughter can't stand to watch the kids eat candy that she should have to leave. I understand that it is hard for her being a diabetic, but that doesn't mean you punish everyone else and force them to comply with her way of life.
EveHallidayInTheRain said:
YTA. They’re kids. It’s Halloween. Sorting and trading treats is the best part of trick or treating. Someone needs to spike their bags with Diana’s acceptable candies and treats, then have the kids all trade with her for the things they like.
Makes it equitable and they learn to work together to accommodate both Diana’s need and their wants. Then no one is to “blame” for the weird rule Diana’s mom is trying to foist on everyone. Which will most likely just make her cousins resent her and not want her around. She can teach Diana self control on her own time. Smh.
pl487 said:
YTA. If you wanted to find the best way to absolutely ruin Halloween for a bunch of non-diabetic kids, there would be no better way than to tell them that they can't eat any of their candy until tomorrow and get diabetic snacks instead.
And, no, you don't get to go past your wife and try to talk your family into it anyway. The plan is dumb. And also YTA because you're dismissing your wife's feelings: just being dramatic, it's just candy. Listen to her, don't dismiss her.
So, there you have it!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this dad would be wrong to deny all the kids their candy until November 1st to make one kid feel better. However, most people agreed that his wife is also indeed being dramatic. Good luck, everyone!