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Groom asks if he was wrong to ask MIL to leave wedding because of her perfume.

Groom asks if he was wrong to ask MIL to leave wedding because of her perfume.


Tensions between in-laws are a tale as old as time, but what happens when you're quite literally allergic to your mother-in-law?

So, when a conflicted groom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about an issue with his mother-in-law's perfume at his wedding, people were eager to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me?

I just got married to the love of my life. I've usually gotten on pretty well with my new in-laws. Usually, my mother-in-law doesn't wear perfume or at least not any that I've been able to notice.

My wife had her mother be her matron of honor so she was standing with us upfront. It was a small area and with her right next to my wife, I was able to smell her perfume.

Shortly after the ceremony started I started to get watery eyes and sniffles. Our ceremony was supposed to only last 20 minutes max so I thought I would just push through unless it got worse.

It didn't get worse until after the ceremony when new mother-in-law hugged me. Itchy eyes, itchy throat, and headache got added to the mix. My wife asked if I was alright and I told her I think her mother's perfume was getting to me. We had someone go get some allergy medication. I took one but it didn't do a whole lot and I started to feel out of it.

Get to the reception and we started to do our photos, and I couldn't do group photos with my mother-in-law in them. I told my wife we needed to figure something out because my symptoms weren't letting up and I didn't want to be out of it from taking more meds for our reception or have to leave our own reception.

My wife asked her mom to keep some distance between us to try and make it easier for me. It didn't really. That perfume followed her like a damn cloud. Then my wife asked her mom to try and wash wherever she dabbed her perfume but mother-in-law said she hadn't dabbed it on, she spritzed herself so it was on her dress too. At that point they said they were out of ideas and there wasn't anything we could do.

I said there was one more thing and suggested that maybe mother-in-law leave to change her dress and then come back or even just go to a nearby thrift store or something and get any kind of clothes, I'd even pay for them.

I asked my mother-in-law to either please to do that or to leave and we'd visit later with cake because it was getting to the point that I would have to leave. My wife and mother-in-law objected to this because my wife wanted her mom there the whole time. I understand the day was big for my wife and she wanted her mother there and I wanted her there too but I wasn't able to enjoy my own wedding.

I wound up sitting outside with some of my family and groomsmen. I started to feel better and when I did, my wife came out and asked if I'd be going back inside then. I told her no so long as her mom was still there and hadn't changed. The night ended with my wife spending our wedding night at her parents' house. AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave?

Spending your wedding night at your parents' house? Oh no...

Shacking up with your mom and dad isn't exactly the spicy newlywed suite, but it seems like this bride and her mom weren't very sympathetic to the groom's problems. Who wants to be itching and sneezing all over the dance floor on their wedding day, especially when the source of the problem could easily attempt to remove the scented allergen?

Of course, the jury of internet strangers were eager to weigh in on this unique wedding emergency. Here's what people had to say:

[deleted] said:

NTA. I can't believe your mother in law and your new wife would be so selfish. You struggling to breath and simply be at your wedding is wildly messed up when mil had opportunity to just buy a new outfit or come back later.

FoxBun_17 said:

NTA. I understand your wife wanting her mother to be present at the wedding, but it's your wedding too. Not only that, but the perfume was giving you an allergic reaction.

Watery eyes, itchy throat, headache, sound bad enough, but prolonged exposure to an allergen can make those even worse. I know someone whose throat closes up and can't breathe when they're too close to certain perfume and scents.

You tried to compromise and even offered to pay for new clothes for your MIL to change into so that she could enjoy the reception. None of their ideas worked, so what were you supposed to do?

Suffer through it and potentially get even sicker, or miss out on your own wedding reception? Which it sounds like you did, since you had to sit outside, away from your own wife, on your wedding day.

RighteousVengeance said:

NTA. Your wife and her mother refused to make reasonable accommodation for your allergy. This does not bode well for your married life.

skyelyy said:

NTA. You tried to compromise in every polite way possible, even offered to buy her a new dress not covered in the perfume. You didn’t just straight tell her to leave as soon as it got to you. While I do understand your wife’s pov and wanting her mother there, she was extremely inconsiderate of you, her now husband. I do not think you did anything wrong here.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this groom wasn't at all wrong to ask his new mother-in-law to help him solve his allergy problem, but he should probably discuss this issue further with his new wife. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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