When you get to take your utter humiliation to the grave, though, it's a powerful secret. So, when a Reddit user asked, 'What is something humiliating that you got away with without anyone noticing?' people were ready to share the deeply embarrassing memory that they're so grateful that no one else remembers.
When I had a UTI, I peed the bed. The worst part was that my pee was bright orange from the medication I was taking. I changed my sheets in the middle of the night and washed them the next morning. I'm just glad my boyfriend wasn't there that night. - blackwidow2313
I bike to work, so I bring a change of clothes in a backpack. One day I walked, so I just walked in my uniform pants and tank top with uniform shirt in my backpack. I got off work later and walked into the back room (only hidden by a swinging door that leads straight to the kitchen) and took my uniform too off, followed by my pants (autopilot changing into leggings).
Brain woke up off autopilot when I realized my leggings weren't in the backpack and I WASN'T IN THE BATHROOM. Never put my pants back on so fast but fortunately managed not to flash anyone. - Depressed_moose
Ok so this happened to me when I was in 6th grade. I was like 12 and female. So I was in math class and I was wearing a old sweater and a dark grey pants with black stars on them. I was uncomfortable in the chair and something didn't feel right. I asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom and he said yes. I go to the bathroom and look at my pants there's blood everywhere.
All over my underwear and in my pants. I wiped it up as best as I could and just used toilet paper as a pad because it was the last class of the day and I didn't was to tell the male teacher. Nobody notice because you could barely see the blood on my pants unless you were right beside my butt. I hated that day. - hzjjzjJznzjbzjzjzjj
I had a very public break up in a very loud mexican resturant. Luckily everyone was drunk and you couldn't hear being yelled at unless you were close: you never call. you only say you love me after sex. you're a selfish lover. you spend too much time watching 'The Simpsons.' At least the burrito was good - ooo-ooo-oooyea
Wearing two different types of shoes one day in high school . - [deleted]
As a teenager I took up smoking and was convinced no one could tell. Thinking back my mother would obviously have been able to smell it all the time as I would wait for her to go to bed and spark one up in the lounge room but she never said antything so I can never be sure.
One time I was outside smoking on a very dry and hot summer day and I flicked the butt onto the grass and went back to Super Mario for a while before I smelt thick smoke and went outside to find the lawn alight. It was brown and dry to begin with and must have gone up pretty easy. I became immediately scared for my life but I managed to put the fire out and stared for a minute at the black mess that was left.
I had no idea what to do so I went and got a broom and swept the remaining ash straight off the ground and it sort of discipated. I left an obviously burnt side lawn and went about my business. Mum never ever said anything and I have no idea to this day if she ever noticed, but surely she would have. - [deleted]
One time in my English class in 7th grade my fly was down. Not a big deal. Thing is, this was the one day in my life I ever went commando. Personally find it super gross and unsanitary but that's not important. What is important is that I happened to get one of those random inconvenient b*ners for no reason around the time we had to get up to move our desks in to groups.
And as my fly was down, out comes my d*ck and pokes the kid in front of me (for the life of me I can't even remember if it was a guy or girl). Somehow I managed to stuff it back in my pants and get my fly up before anyone noticed, and whoever was in front of me just scratched their back where I d*ck poked them. I always thought I'd carry that to my grave. - MrSnugglepoo
I ate sh*t on my longboard going down a hill at my campus. I was approaching a T intersection going down hill and had way to much speed to bail out. I chose the closest grass spot and the second my longboard hit the grass, I flew off and slid headfirst baseball style 15 feet. I got up, brushed myself off, checked to see if anyone saw (nobody did), and carried on my merry way. - IxIp
Well, one person noticed...I had a crush on this guy Jason in high school, and was walking down the hallway when a friend waved at me. I threw up a quick wave, and my hand went back too far, so I ended up getting my pinky finger caught in Jason's nose.
He was super sweet about it and laughed, but I was absolutely mortified, and as a redhead, I flush easily, so I am sure my face was like a tomato. No one else seemed to notice. Worse, he was in my next class with me, and his desk was next to mine. - AvonelleRed67
I peed my pants in art class when I was 5, and then covered myself with clay so nobody would notice. - rageycita
I was an external auditor for 2 years. I had an inventory count at my client on New Year's Day at 7 AM. Needless to say I was the most hungover that day that I have ever been.
About 15 minutes into my count I thought I had to fart so I let one rip... I blasted sh*t all out of my a*shole. I am talking mountains of sh*t - when I took off my boxers there was sh*t on my dick. The only accurate description of my waist down was to say I spent the night in quicksand.
Anyway I had to ditch both my slacks and my boxers in the restroom. I put on gym shorts that I had in my car and continued the count. I literally had on dress shoes, gym shorts, and a button down oxford shirt and nobody said a damn word. I like to think we all sh*t our pants a little bit that morning. - RichardCranium00
In elementary school I ran out of toilet paper so I waddled over to the girl's bathroom to finish. - silly_jimmies
I stepped out of the fitting room in the men's department, not realizing that I hadn't put on my pants before doing so. - Back2Bach
I approached a male friend sitting at his desk from the rear. I noticed a big black spider on his neck with huge legs. I immediately slapped his neck hard to save him. I was mortified to find out it was a mole. He's probably been to the Dermo by now - Ladybugged626
In fourth grade I spelled the word sea as 'c-e-a' and my teacher said it was correct - HandRailSuicide1
In grade 8 I once went out with a group of friends for someones birthday buffet. We were young and stupid back then, and all the guys wanted to impress the girls by eating the most. A few plates later, I was at my limit, but I still wanted to impress. I must have been really desperate for attention at the time because I would secretly fill my pockets when no one was looking with food from my plate, and dump it out in the trash or toilet.
The thing is, I forgot to unload my pockets near the end of the meal because the cake came, and I had to stay to sing along. I've tried to rewrite my memory, but I can't shake the feeling of food juices dripping down my legs when one of my friends parents came to pick us up. Luckily no one mentioned the greasy odor emanating from my pants in the car ride home. - byepal
I was in something like 8th grade and was in the middle of a baseball game during the summer. I was centerfield and suddenly had the urge to pee REALLY bad out of nowhere. I start panicking because we had no outs and it didn't look like that was going to change soon.
After maybe five minutes with me holding my d*ck shut with everything I got, I just let it loose and piss myself. I'm thinking to myself how awful the rest of this game is going to be, not only the ridicule from teammates but also how uncomfortable I'll be. Eventually we get three outs and head to the dugout when I get a brilliant idea. I'm the first one there, I run to get my water and 'accidentally' spill it all over the front of my pants.
Everyone points and laughs and I'm just standing there like 'Haha yep joke's on me guys! Ya caught me, I'm such an idiot!' Motherf*ckers will never know the truth and I'll die before I share it anywhere but here!!! - kadyrovs_cat