Internet

<p>It&#39;s time again.</p><p>The weekend has arrived and people across the world are ready to let their hair down and go out on the town (or out for some takeout to bring back to the couch).</p><p>Whether you&#39;ve had a great week and plan to continue riding that high straight into Saturday, or you could use a pick-me-up to drown out all of the psychological pain, here are some funny tweets to take you where you need to be mentally.</p><h2>1.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My doctor today asked me “how’s your health?” buddy…you tell me…</p>&mdash; Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) <a href="https://twitter.com/alyssalimp/status/1631494508641947648?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 3, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">men are either babies with a vinyl collection or monsters who own land</p>&mdash; Rachel Elizabeth 🍒 (@chaotic_sub) <a href="https://twitter.com/chaotic_sub/status/1627415820224561154?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 19, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">i love reading poetry cus they feel like word puzzles but instead of being like &quot;yay!! crossword all done :)&quot; you unearth a devastating truth about the human experience</p>&mdash; giabucci (@jaboukie) <a href="https://twitter.com/jaboukie/status/1627782686063439878?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 20, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">just lied at work now i have to figure this out pray for me <a href="https://t.co/jytAAlki71">pic.twitter.com/jytAAlki71</a></p>&mdash; tweets by poeppel (@AlexPoeppel) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlexPoeppel/status/1623081053895249928?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 7, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>5.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Thinking about how my brothers roommates used to put their wooden cutting board in the dishwasher and when I asked him why he thought that was ok he said “trees get rained on all the time”</p>&mdash; buttball (@imniceandsmart) <a href="https://twitter.com/imniceandsmart/status/1629911505691918342?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 26, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My husband gives people the thumbs down instead of flicking them off from the car. He reports that the thumbs down makes people even more mad.</p>&mdash; Abby Norman (@abbynormansays) <a href="https://twitter.com/abbynormansays/status/1628518265646419968?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 22, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">What Twitter feels like if you’ve been away from it after two days <a href="https://t.co/FYh70Szi21">pic.twitter.com/FYh70Szi21</a></p>&mdash; #1 samir (@samir) <a href="https://twitter.com/samir/status/1627882835414597635?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 21, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">i hate when i try to look at quote tweets and see this stupid fucking bird <a href="https://t.co/JXtWb7ZOX4">pic.twitter.com/JXtWb7ZOX4</a></p>&mdash; hayden (@haydenluvsavo) <a href="https://twitter.com/haydenluvsavo/status/1625896983264210958?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 15, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">trying out these looong tweetes<br><br>+-------------------------------------+<br>| |<br>| 𝘾𝙑𝙎/𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙘𝙮 |<br>|… <a href="https://t.co/Xd2ZE1bvUq">https://t.co/Xd2ZE1bvUq</a></p>&mdash; tanner 🧢 (@that) <a href="https://twitter.com/that/status/1623830646044131328?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 9, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>10.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Netflix: you have to fly to your parents house once a month to keep using their account<br><br>AMC theaters: go to Ticketmaster and purchase middle row tickets to Shrek from a scalper for $34,000</p>&mdash; #1 samir (@samir) <a href="https://twitter.com/samir/status/1622763819595444226?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 7, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If you recognize this apartment, you’re old. <a href="https://t.co/V4HyYPC4mz">pic.twitter.com/V4HyYPC4mz</a></p>&mdash; Billifer 🇨🇦 (@billifer1973) <a href="https://twitter.com/billifer1973/status/1622227862995746817?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 5, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">once i invent a beverage that makes you want to keep living between 3:15 and 4:48 pm it&#39;s over for you hoes</p>&mdash; Chris Murphy (@christress) <a href="https://twitter.com/christress/status/1620175112342487040?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 30, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">LinkedIn be like <a href="https://t.co/VE4Pc6hz67">pic.twitter.com/VE4Pc6hz67</a></p>&mdash; Tommy Mason (@_TommyMason) <a href="https://twitter.com/_TommyMason/status/1619811040732266497?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 29, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Learning that Paprika is just dried and crushed red bell peppers was really shocking. Like I dunno why I thought there was a Paprika tree somewhere</p>&mdash; Make Oxtail Cheap Again (@simsimmaaz) <a href="https://twitter.com/simsimmaaz/status/1617569921327837185?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 23, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">A lady ahead of me ordered fast food. The cashier said &quot;That&#39;ll be $6.66.&quot; She said &quot;Oh no. I don&#39;t like that total. Better throw in a corndog.&quot; This woman is an inspiration. She&#39;s out there fighting off the powers of Satan with a corndog as her weapon of choice.</p>&mdash; Megs (@the_meghaning) <a href="https://twitter.com/the_meghaning/status/1616584827989270528?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 20, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><h2>16.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just heard someone turn down after-work plans because they have an avocado at home that’s about to go bad</p>&mdash; Max Lockie (@staphwriter) <a href="https://twitter.com/staphwriter/status/1612935607440883713?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 10, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">don&#39;t normally comment on this sort of thing but it&#39;s cool that he wore Garfield colors. If my name was Garfield I&#39;d be doing shit like that on the daily <a href="https://t.co/8RiGPx50jP">https://t.co/8RiGPx50jP</a></p>&mdash; Kenny Keil (@kennykeil) <a href="https://twitter.com/kennykeil/status/1613058720233328641?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 11, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>18.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">are they like mad at me or just at the mall too <a href="https://t.co/q0CmLlWTps">https://t.co/q0CmLlWTps</a></p>&mdash; I&#39;m 6’7 (@taylorprobably) <a href="https://twitter.com/taylorprobably/status/1612687174411091969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 10, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>19.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">me and the boys got photos of all the gerber babys spread out on the table and we are just shaking our heads because they all look like shit</p>&mdash; wint (@dril) <a href="https://twitter.com/dril/status/1628114903423934464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 21, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>20.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">&quot;I fucking hate when they&#39;re awake.&quot; <a href="https://t.co/hYWm65VyRq">pic.twitter.com/hYWm65VyRq</a></p>&mdash; yedoye (@yedoye_) <a href="https://twitter.com/yedoye_/status/1631415862799347717?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 2, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

20 funny tweets to kick off the weekend.

It&#39;s time again.The weekend has arrived and people across the world are ready to let their hair down and go out on the town (or out for some takeout to bring back to the couch).Whether you&#39;ve had a great week and plan to continue riding that high straight into Saturday, or you could use a pick-me-up to drown out all of the psychological pain, here are some funny tweets to take you where you need to be mentally.1.My doctor today asked me “how’s your health?” buddy…you tell me…&mdash; Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) March 3, 2023 2.men are either babies with a vinyl collection or monsters who own land&mdash; Rachel Elizabeth 🍒 (@chaotic_sub) February 19, 2023 3.i love reading poetry cus they feel like word puzzles but instead of being like &quot;yay!! crossword all done :)&quot; you unearth a devastating truth about the human experience&mdash; giabucci (@jaboukie) February 20, 2023 4.just lied at work now i have to figure this out pray for me pic.twitter.com/jytAAlki71&mdash; tweets by poeppel (@AlexPoeppel) February 7, 2023 5.Thinking about how my brothers roommates used to put their wooden cutting board in the dishwasher and when I asked him why he thought that was ok he said “trees get rained on all the time”&mdash; buttball (@imniceandsmart) February 26, 2023 6.My husband gives people the thumbs down instead of flicking them off from the car. He reports that the thumbs down makes people even more mad.&mdash; Abby Norman (@abbynormansays) February 22, 2023 7.What Twitter feels like if you’ve been away from it after two days pic.twitter.com/FYh70Szi21&mdash; #1 samir (@samir) February 21, 2023 8.i hate when i try to look at quote tweets and see this stupid fucking bird pic.twitter.com/JXtWb7ZOX4&mdash; hayden (@haydenluvsavo) February 15, 2023 9.trying out these looong tweetes+-------------------------------------+| || 𝘾𝙑𝙎/𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙘𝙮 ||… https://t.co/Xd2ZE1bvUq&mdash; tanner 🧢 (@that) February 9, 2023 10.Netflix: you have to fly to your parents house once a month to keep using their accountAMC theaters: go to Ticketmaster and purchase middle row tickets to Shrek from a scalper for $34,000&mdash; #1 samir (@samir) February 7, 2023 11.If you recognize this apartment, you’re old. pic.twitter.com/V4HyYPC4mz&mdash; Billifer 🇨🇦 (@billifer1973) February 5, 2023 12.once i invent a beverage that makes you want to keep living between 3:15 and 4:48 pm it&#39;s over for you hoes&mdash; Chris Murphy (@christress) January 30, 2023 13.LinkedIn be like pic.twitter.com/VE4Pc6hz67&mdash; Tommy Mason (@_TommyMason) January 29, 2023 14.Learning that Paprika is just dried and crushed red bell peppers was really shocking. Like I dunno why I thought there was a Paprika tree somewhere&mdash; Make Oxtail Cheap Again (@simsimmaaz) January 23, 2023 15.A lady ahead of me ordered fast food. The cashier said &quot;That&#39;ll be $6.66.&quot; She said &quot;Oh no. I don&#39;t like that total. Better throw in a corndog.&quot; This woman is an inspiration. She&#39;s out there fighting off the powers of Satan with a corndog as her weapon of choice.&mdash; Megs (@the_meghaning) January 20, 2023  16.Just heard someone turn down after-work plans because they have an avocado at home that’s about to go bad&mdash; Max Lockie (@staphwriter) January 10, 2023 17.don&#39;t normally comment on this sort of thing but it&#39;s cool that he wore Garfield colors. If my name was Garfield I&#39;d be doing shit like that on the daily https://t.co/8RiGPx50jP&mdash; Kenny Keil (@kennykeil) January 11, 2023 18.are they like mad at me or just at the mall too https://t.co/q0CmLlWTps&mdash; I&#39;m 6’7 (@taylorprobably) January 10, 2023 19.me and the boys got photos of all the gerber babys spread out on the table and we are just shaking our heads because they all look like shit&mdash; wint (@dril) February 21, 2023 20.&quot;I fucking hate when they&#39;re awake.&quot; pic.twitter.com/hYWm65VyRq&mdash; yedoye (@yedoye_) March 2, 2023 

It&#39;s time again.  The weekend has arrived and people across the world are ready to let their hair down and go out on the town (or out for some takeout to bring back to the couch).  Whether you&#39;ve had a great week and plan to...