When this woman is upset with her stepdad, she asks Reddit:
I (f20s) am hosting Christmas this year with my husband (m20s).
My parents split up when I was around 5 years old. My dad is pretty much out of the picture. When I was 16, my mum (f50s) met my stepdad 'Tom' (m60s). They met online and got married after only knowing each other for 3 months.
Teenage angst was probably at play but I never really liked Tom and at the time I thought my mum was ridiculous for marrying someone who she only knew for such a short period of time.
Anyway, a few days ago, my mum invited me over. I helped her put away some shopping when I got there.
There were some small bottles of pepsi that I forgot to put in the fridge so they were just sitting on the counter.
A couple hours later, Tom gets home from work and he sees the pepsi bottles on the counter and he starts flipping out. He goes on about how he can't drink room temperature pepsi and that they should be in the fridge.
I told him it was me and that I just forgot to put them in the fridge and apologised. Apparently that wasn't good enough and Tom went off about how stupid it was to not put them in the fridge and that I have no common sense.
I sarcastically told him that this is a disaster and how ever will he recover from this. Tom called me a 'useless b*tch'.
I decided to just leave, and later I texted my mum and Tom and told them that unless he genuinely apologises for calling me a bitch and being so rude to me over PEPSI BOTTLES, Tom's not invited to Christmas anymore.
My mum sends me paragraph after paragraph making excuses for Tom, and saying that I'm being unfair.
She said I'm making her choose between me and Tom and that I'm unfairly putting her in a difficult position, and accused me of punishing her for a situation she didn't cause.
I told her I don't care and that no apology means no invite for Tom, and that I don't want him attending if he can't apologise for his actions.
She said I'm being petty and acting like a child with birthday party invites, and said I'm being a Scrooge. She keeps sending me pictures of Scrooge and the Grinch and saying 'that's you!'.
I really don't know if I am actually being petty or going too far. AITA?
She blames OP because it is safer than trying to hold her husband accountable for his actions. She knows her husband will never take responsibility, but OP might be coerced into stopping rocking the boat. Tip. The. Boat.
Nope. Hold the line. I have a feeling Tom has never apologized for anything in his life. It might be good exercise for him. Your mom is blaming the wrong person. It's understandable you don't want him at your house after that. NTA
What? PEPSI? Unrefrigerated soda and he flips out like this? What...what possible universe exists when teenage angst plays any part in that?
That's simply emotional abuse, from some jackass who's accustomed to being able to dish it out, no doubt to OP's Mum. And Mum is so cowed that not only does she accept it as remotely normal, but she's castigating her daughter for doing the right thing and standing up about how absurd and abusive it was/is.
What, their freezer doesn't make ice cubes? His willy will fall off, if he drinks--gasp--not ice-cold soda? I can see someone--maybe--saying 'damn, I wish you'd stuck this in the fridge, I hate it warm' but beyond that, it's all emotional abuse and calling her a BTCH? Oh, no no no no. NTA!!!!!