Chauvinist gets shut down by 19yo girl; family scolds her for 'acting like a man.'

We all have those family members who are a little too active online and have some weird ideas about society and who's actually running things. So at what point do we give them a reality check?

When a young woman reached her breaking point listening to sexist swill from her cousin, she decided to do the unthinkable: challenge his beliefs. After embarrassing him, she came to Reddit to see if she actually went too far.

'AITA (Am I the a-hole) for rudely shutting down my cousin's ridiculous talk?'

u/Total-Possession8551 writes:

Last week I (19F) went home from college for spring break. My cousin Dave and his family were also visiting for spring break.

Now I can't really stand Dave because he has a very obnoxious personality. He likes to show off, and put other people, especially girls down. He has a high ego because my aunt and uncle spoil him alot.

He has a weird thing for cars for example, in our family we, the kids, have to pay for half our cars, so he looks down on my brother for driving a used camry that has dents in it for example.

He also has some really sh*tty views about women, and he listens to alot of internet gurus that say derogatory things about women. The people he follows also blame the natural consequences to their actions on some shadowy secret 'matrix' of some sort.

Oh boy.

Since my cousin also spews points about not trusting women pilots, or saying that men own women, I decided to ask him one simple question.

I said that you seem to talk about the matrix alot, and about taking the red pill and seeing the reality for what it really is, by any chance do you know who created the movie, The Matrix, which everything you're saying is based on?

He said he didn't. I responded that 2 women did, so women are responsible for a core tenet of your top G's philosophy.

He then looked it up, and started to say something else, but was drowned out by the laughter of the group, his expression was just too iconic.

Nothing hurts worse than the truth, sometimes.

Now however, my aunt is saying that I was too mean to him, which I think is ridiculous, and she says I'm acting too much like a man.

I wonder where Dave got his info on men and women...

I honestly don't know how to respond to something like that, but being criticized like that by a woman I ordinarily respect alot is making me second guess putting Dave in his place that rudely.

Maybe I could have been a bit more civil about it, but I'm glad I did it though, there's just some lingering doubt.

What do you think? Was OP out of line, or is Dave a big baby man with a mother who clearly still coddles him?

Reddit ruled NTA (not the a-hole) and gave OP an earful about her aunt.

AceOfGargoyes17 says:

NTA at all. Your aunt's internalised misogyny has probably partially enabled Dave's blatant misogyny, though.

But OP disagrees:

I might be wrong on this, but I don't think she in general is misogynistic, I think her love for her son blinds her and makes her get offended on his behalf. I'm sure she'll come around.

Something I've noticed is that a lot of women in my family tend to be really soft on their first born sons, and that tends to spoil them a lot, so Dave's sh*tty attitude might be redeemable, but I don't really want to spend more time with him than necessary.

cottondragons comments:

Aunt is a misogynist bigot and she raised a misogynist bigot son. Of course she's going to have an opinion on you putting down her precious baby. Good news is, her opinion doesn't count. NTA. And re-evaluate your opinion on your aunt, please.

WTFK-1919 says:

NTA almost unbelievable that you’d need to ask.

But OP defends herself:

It seems unbelievable because you don't have the history with my aunt like I do. It's easy to call me dumb and say of course you're not the one in the wrong, but keep in mind in my family, when I was younger my aunt was like a second mother to me.

And she's incredibly decisive and wise in most things, and has helped me out so much, so when a person like that says that you're wrong, even if you know she could be biased because it's her son, you still take it to heart.

cottondragons comments again:

Unfortunately people can be amazing and important to us and still have some minor... or major... flaws. Now that you know this about her, you know how to approach things she says.

EconomyVoice7358 wonders:

Also, I’m curious exactly how she thinks you’re “being like a man”? For knowing about a movie? For being smart? For teasing the sexist cousin? Sounds like she has her own massive level of misogyny and bigotry. I sure hope the AH cousin doesn’t have a sister.

RedditStaffCantCode adds:

Pointing out facts is mean, now? I don't even know what she's possibly labeling as 'manly' but since she has such a low opinion of women, that sounds like it's actually a compliment. Also, The Matrix was made by two trans women and is a trans metaphor. :D

Well, there you have it!

Dave sucks and his mom doesn't seem entirely blameless, either. Good luck, OP!