17 of the funniest tweets from parents who dared to tell the truth about kids.

Nov 3, 2022 | 3:03 PM

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Being a parent can be a whirlwind of temper tantrums at the pharmacy, trying to explain why you can't adopt a dolphin for the kitchen sink and attempting to bargain with a 13-year-old accusing you of ruining their entire life...

So, if you could use a cathartic laugh about the many hilarious joys and challenges of raising the next generation, here are the funniest tweets we could find from the wonderful wits of Twitter who aren't sugarcoating the parenting process.

1.

My son just asked me if Jesus is a demigod, and I had to think about that one.
— Dr. MaddKap, the Psychologist Werewolf (@MaddKap) October 31, 2022

2.

My daughter is crying because I won’t let her put a strawberry in an electrical outlet…like cmon be fr shorty
— Portuh Rikken 🇵🇷 (@ArrozYUnGandul) October 31, 2022

3.

My daughter cuddled into me and said she loves me, which I thought was really cute until I realised she was stealing my muffin
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) November 1, 2022

4.

My kid is playing Santa and told me to pretend to sleep, and I’m just glad he finally came up with a game I can win
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 30, 2022

5.

8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth"
— Eliza Jane (@ElizaJaneAgain) July 2, 2022

6.

My 5-year-old tonight:

“I wish I was retired, I would be so much happier.”

I didn’t have the heart to do the math for her.
— Rena Sarigianopoulos (@RenaKARE11) November 3, 2022

7.

My little toddler has decided photographers are called cheese guys.
— Ross MacKay (@RossC_MacKay) October 28, 2022

8.

If I learned anything from being a parent of teens, it's that I have the power to ruin someone's entire life with the word "No".
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) October 26, 2022

9.

My kid just told me I like old lady candy.
— Stacey B (@StaceyBox5) November 1, 2022

10.

years from now when my daughter is stuck caring for me i am going to absolutely lose my shit if she cuts my sandwich into anything but triangles
— DJ Jazzy Josh (@tryptofantastic) November 3, 2022

11.

My toddler asked for a bagel with cream cheese but the cream cheese had gone bad so I handed him the plain bagel which he took one look at and promptly threw across the living room.
— themomessence (@themomessence) November 2, 2022

12.

I’m jealous of my toddler. It must be so liberating to run around stark naked whenever you please.
— themomessence (@themomessence) October 28, 2022

13.

If my toddler brings you a leaf, please know that act was the negotiated compromise that allowed us to move on with our day instead of remaining outside to collect two hundred more leaves.

I’m begging you to accept the leaf.
— Kwame the Gr8 (@KSekouM) October 26, 2022

14.

My kid just asked me what’s the difference between lying and joking and now I am looking for meditation courses.
— Mad_Hatter_Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) October 31, 2022

15.

My son just asked me when I was a child did our cameras have a string you pulled to make the big flash go off. 🙈 I think I'm cool and he thinks I'm ancient
— Jennifer O'Brien (@TheDublinJenn) October 28, 2022

16.

Someday, God willing, I will attend my children’s weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) July 17, 2022

17.

5 told me to come to her hair salon, rearranged my hair then put the mirror in front of us and said “well I look beautiful but I haven’t been able to help you this time” then she looked me in the eye and said “you still have to pay though”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 6, 2022

18.

It’s that time of the month and my son just asked me if someone killed me.
Hahahahahaha.
— amanda renée beltran (@amandarbeltran) October 26, 2022

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